I’m in the middle of a craft fair in the local library using one of their computers to set up this blog. Normally it’s really quiet here, but there is chatter and noise behind me as I sit here typing. Who knows who is looking over my shoulder. It seems strange to be amidst so many people and yet feel so profoundly alone.
April the first.
April Fool’s day.
I feel like the fool.
I closed one blog down because I was chatting too much and my relatives got suspicious of that. Hopefully they won’t find this one. Hopefully I can chat freely. Hopefully hope will sustain me until life reflects my hopes.
Gosh – that sound’s profound. I think I’ll stop there. π
Robert C Day 
Until life reflects hopes you said….. hey! look it, is me, is Charly Priest, or Charly the Grand Priest…. I like better the latter, so yes I’m your hopes reflecting back into your life. See? Wasn’t that hard.
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Hahaha – yes, Charly the Grand Priest – you are all my hopes come true. π
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I’m glad I found you! It would be harder if you didn’t use your full name, tho π hope the relatives don’t think of that!
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Hmm. Yeah – I’m sure they’re not that bothered to come and stalk me, like what you do. π
Thanks for finding me, Dee.:D
Kindness – Robert.
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Aha, yes, apparently I’ll follow you anywhere π
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Crazy chick!
Gotta love a crazy chick. π
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π£
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lol!
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Smiling again – I hope the blog police leave you alone.
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Yeah, me too. π
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Found you.
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What took you so long? π
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The much more interesting question: why did you have to be found in the first place?
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Well then, why didn’t you ask me that first off? π
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Honestly? Was debating whether or not to have anything more to do with you. You’re dangerously narcissistic.
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Self-confessed narcissistic tendencies – yeah. π There are forces in my life that I have to (choose to) yield to. How did the debate fall out?
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You haven’t answered my question. Why did you want to be found? Do you thrive on being an asshole?
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I’m happy to have been found by whoever wants to look for me but I didn’t particularly want to be found or not found – either is fine.
Do I thrive on this? It’s difficult to tell really. I don’t do well with conflict and so moving away is a good option for me. I don’t thrive on being alone and so moving away is not a good option for me.
People have moved away from me without explanation in the past and that hurt me. If they move away now, I just let them go. I feel sadness, but that goes too. In time.
It’s complicated.
Do I do it to hurt? As if the people I move away from are a proxy for those who moved away from me? Possibly.
Are people, and their feelings, real to me? Partly yes and partly no. I have traits of psychopath (no empathy/sympathy) and traits of Guan-Yin (metta). In the middle. Caught. Pinned. Butterfly with useless wings.
How’s your day going?
Hope it’s going well.
Kindness – Robert.
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Very insightful. I’m glad you took my second question (about thriving on being an asshole) seriously. It’s fascinating how contradictory traits co-exist within the same person, including myself. Ah…Goddess Guan Yin. Why didn’t you write the corresponding Chinese characters θ§ι³? π Your tendency to move away from people makes me think of my own habit of jumping ship. I’ve been asked a few times whether it’s difficult to leave people behind every time I move to a new place. Usually, I feel only a tinge of sadness that quickly goes away. Out of sight, out of mind, except for a select few. My day is going well. Came down with laryngitis a few days ago, and finally have a bit of voice back today (albeit a very raspy one). Hope you’re enjoying your day. Amicably, S
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Sounds like we are more alike than you might feel comfortable admitting. And then you did. Kudos to you, S. π
Chinese characters? Didn’t even know if you would get it in English, so pleased that I got so far.
One of the beautiful boons of blogging – you can do it even when your throat hurts. π
Need to go to the small room now.
Laters.
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Sounds like it, but sounds can be deceiving, right? I lack your charm, and I give explanations before leaving. π
You didn’t even know if I would get Guan Yin in English? Why wouldn’t I?
‘Beautiful boons of blogging’ – that rolls off the tongue nicely. My throat doesn’t hurt; it’s itchy and I’m coughing a lot, that’s all. Went to work every day this past week and had to speak in a whisper. Did you ever listen to my recording? π
Gotta move out by the end of May. Landlord sold the house! π¦
Bonne soirΓ©e.
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So much information in such a brief space. You have mastered the art of giving explanations. I have a lot to learn. I left a goodbye on the old blog. I guess it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what you know or don’t know about goddesses and it’s best not to presume. Which recordings? Yes – sounds can be deceiving – for sure. I thought you said you were moving anyway. How does your landlord selling the house change that?
Good evening to you too. π
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Is this ‘mutual ego stroking’ day? π Not that I’m complaining. Yes, you said goodbye on the old blog. However, we were chatting every day, and you didn’t mention this to me, leading me (and many others, I’m sure) to wonder what happened to you. You could’ve just told me you were tired of chatting; I would have understood – really. The voice recording I sent you on April 1 (an mp3 file, which I’ve deleted since). Yes, we’re moving away, but we still don’t know when. As the landlord has sold the house, we’ll have to move all our stuff to another place in the city, and then move everything again somewhere else (possibly outside of the country). A royal pain. After a while, crocodile. π
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Mutual ego stroking? Well, maybe. I guess we all have ruffled feathers to one degree or another. Mine came about from losing the things you seem to imagine I gave up lightly or easily. I worked bloody hard to build that blog up. But anyway.
I didn’t read any email, if that’s where you sent the mp3. Not from you nor from anyone.
Moving is always a pain. I sympathise (or is it empathise – I was never sure).
Going to sleep now. Later, alligator.
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I’m sorry, Robert. I was too self-absorbed consider how difficult it must have been for you to give up things that were important to you. The thought did cross my mind some time ago, but it didn’t stay very long.
Too bad about the recording. I was quite satisfied with my short performance. π
Sympathy vs. empathy – certainly not easy to differentiate. Maybe you’re referring to cold/intellectual empathy?
How are things going with you these days? Enjoying the spring?
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Frick – you made that too easy, S. I expected you to be mad at me for much longer! Where’s your self-respect! π¦
Things are awful with me at the mo. My writing is going down the pan, I’m demotivated, demoralised and drifting towards a fixed nowhere. You? π
Sympathy / empathy – meh, that was yesterday’s conversation. I was just being lazy and not looking it up.
Stretching – Robert.
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Peace of mind is much more important to me than pride, so I tend not to hold grudges. That’s my kind of self-respect. Plus, you didn’t set out to upset me; even if you did, I’m the one who decides how to react, right? π
I hope May will be a better month for you. Even in your demoralised state, you still write eloquently.
I’m both okay and not okay. April has been a difficult month. I’m also lacking motivation, and there are mornings when I have no desire at all to get out of bed.
Happy May 1st, Robert. π
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Happy first of May to you too, S. Hope you managed to do something fab today.
You’re right in all you say. Your courage and sense of what is right is admirable.
Yesterday was a snarky day for me. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.
Reading a good book at the moment – Just Turn Left at the Mountain by Andy Smart. Its all about his decision to relocate from the UK to China and what happened next. Teaching me a lot. I think you would enjoy. He has a blog at justturnleft.com if you want to check it out.
Bedtime now – goodnight, S.
Thank you.
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Hi Robert, thought you had a good (not snarky) day yesterday. π Relocating from UK to China is a huge step for a ‘gwai lo’. Glad you’re learning lots from the book. I’ll check out the blog you suggested – xie xie. Leaving the office now after another soul-draining day. Hasta luego.
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Feeling pressured. Have to redraft my assignment, but not getting to it. Falling into the trap of doing things that feel good rather than doing what needs to be done.
(Isn’t writing supposed to feel good, Robert? Ah, yes – you found me out Robert. Well then, why isn’t it? Well, it’s like this – not everyone likes what I write. And? Well, it’s difficult to push through that. And? Erm, well … okay – I’ll get on with it then, Robert. I know I’ve got the guts and strength to do it. I’ll just do it. Well done, Robert – I knew you could! *Robert smiles to himself*)
Yeah, yeah, I know, S – it’s all me, me, me. *Robert sighs, then smiles again*
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Pressure and procrastination. I get it, Robert. Wish I could help!
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Panic’ll kick in tomorrow for sure – when I have 24 hours left and still no progress. Panic, pressure and procrastination – a killer combo.
How’s your day going by the way?
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Hey, I can write it for you! Sound more fun than the stuff I’m doing at work. My day is going well. I feel less existential angst than yesterday.
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Being as it’s the last assignment for the first year of my Masters, don’t you think that you writing it for me might be classed as cheating?
Good to know that the existential angst is abating. Well done for surviving the storm. π (slight sarcasm)
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You mean if I write your other assignments for you, that would not be considered as cheating? π I’m being sincere about wanting to help. Too bad I can’t. Existential angst never goes away completely, as you know. π
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Eh?
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That’s rather Canadian of you.
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Hmm.
(let’s see if she laughs this time)
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You’ll never know.
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Fla.
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FLA
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Option number 5 please, S. :b
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Not nΓΊmero 6? (Future Loser of America)
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No comment. π
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And how are you, S? Oh, I’m fine, thanks for asking. Just under time pressure to find a place to move to before we get kicked out in a few weeks’ time.
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Oh.
Sarcasm?
Hope you find somewhere to stay soon. If not – you can always sleep under your desk at work, right?
Oh, wait – I got an idea – ask your boss – he can help. π
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I’m never sarcastic. π
What idea???
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The idea of asking your employer if he knows of a place where you can stay?
I’m never sarcastic neither. π
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We need a place that allows cats, offers a month to month lease, AND is close enough to both of our workplaces. Bu rong yi.
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Oh.
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Will watch later.
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Okay.
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Are you procrastinating?
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Yup.
Going to get an early night now.
A manyana and all of that. π
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Laters!
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Just watched/listened to the video of Jane Zhang singing Hao Bu Rong Yi. Nice song, pretty voice, & pretty girl. π
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All of those things. π But did you enjoy it?
How did your night go? Feeling refreshed and raring to go now?
Have a good one. π
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Yes, I enjoyed it. Reminds me that I haven’t sung in a long time (yep, it’s all about me).
Could’ve used a few more hours of beauty sleep. Hope you’re having a good day. π
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You should totally sing more of you’re drawn to it. π Is your voice similar to the artist on this video?
My day went pretty well, thanks. How’s your’s going? Soon to sleep for me.
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Yes, my voice is similar to Jane Zhang’s, I think. Maybe a little lower?
Mine is going okay. Bored most days at work. (Why else am I on WordPress all the time? π) Okay, zou tau.
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I thought it was just my magnetic personality that drew you to WP. π Now I see that you’re having multiple conversations with people like me from all over the world. π
Sing a song then. I’d like to hear that.
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As if I had the time and capacity to conduct multiple extended chats during my workday, AND manage to get any work done. π
You gotta listen to my speaking voice first. Listening to my singing before my talking would be like… (fill in the appropriate analogy at your leisure). π
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Cart before horse? π
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Good analogy. I was thinking of another one, but that one will do just fine. On second thought, maybe my singing voice doesn’t sound anything like hers. Don’t know.
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You’ll have to be a bit more specifical – which analogy were you thinking of?
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Not important. Aren’t you tired of words after having spent so long editing? Isn’t your bed beckoning? π
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Knackered. I’m on my bed now. I just have to lie down and I’m asleep. π
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‘Knackered’ is a marvelous word. Givesme the shivers. π
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You have been drinking!
That’s all I can do for now – catch you on the flip-side, S. π
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At work? I think not. π Locking up the office now.
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I listened to YOUR speaking voice before your singing one. (Oops, wasn’t gonna tell ya.)
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Soundcloud giving away all my (publicly available) secrets! What’s becoming the world to? Anyways – I heard your speaking voice. Sing now! π
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Hahaha! π You have a beautiful singing voice.
Hey, why didn’t you tell me before? You dug the recording out of the rubble?
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Huh – that’s some line!
I only knew it was there when I checked this evening.
So sing now? π
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I don’t perform in public.
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You think I was feeding you a line? I meant it!
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You have the only copy of the mp3. Treat with care please. π
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Bon courage to you for finishing your assignment, Robert. π
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I truly still need it. Paralysis has overtaken me! Thanks for your kind wishes. How’s the accommodation hunt going?
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Yes, I read your latest post, so I know. I’m going to try to help. You’re right about Part 8 – it definitely doesn’t fit. Mass murder, please. As dark and gory as possible.
Accommodation hunt – stuck.
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Ah. Stuck. So sorry to hear.
Dark and gory may not be working with this tutor. This is one of my problems.
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Empathy from Robert? Can’t be. π
I will take notes about your story this evening.
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I … okay. π
Thanks for the note-taking! Looking through now to find out what you came up with.
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Bu ke qi! π
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π
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Ah, I get the Youtube reference. Singing in Mandarin – horror of horrors!
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Actually, it sounds quite nice. No cats were harmed during the making of that video. π
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Yay! ππ»
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π½
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Ahhhh!!! An alien!
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Hahaha!!! A random emoticon!
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Right, of course. If one does not wish to respond with words, use ‘hmm’ or a random emoticon. π
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One is trying to manage the volume of separate comment threads appearing. If they all continue and new ones appear their volume will quickly become unmanageable. Some have to go. I’m only a bloke you know! π―
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You used an emoticon with the Chinese character ζ! Impressive!
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Random emotions are fab! What did it mean, by the way? π
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It means to point or indicate. π
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Hmm. What’s the point? π
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Look over there, Robert! π Not there, there! π
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Fuuuunneeee! π
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Well yes I am, thank you very much! π
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