Rocked My World

I read something the other day that rocked my world and set me back on my heels. Let me dig it out … 2 ticks …

Damn – can’t find it online.

It was on the back cover of a book called The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness by Mark Williams, John D. Teasdale, Zindel V. Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn (yeah, I cut and pasted that). Two more ticks – I’ll have to go downstairs to fetch the book …

Well bugger me – it’s not on the cover of that book! Must have seen it inside when I opened it at random.

Anyway, the gist of it is this – when you’re depressed, the worst thing to do is to try to think about it or get to grips with it using logic, because this just makes you more depressed (some fancy phrase like ‘deepens the cycle of depression’ was used).

What it advocated instead was basically acknowledging those (depressing) thoughts, but then just putting them to one side and thinking about something else instead.

Sounds simple don’t it, but I tell you – it opened my eyes until they squeaked! I mean – all that time I spent filling journal after journal with my thoughts, justifications and explanations and all of that stuff – all wasted?

I thought to myself ‘nah – surely not – I learnt stuff about myself – and learning is always good, right?’

But then I remembered the times that I was truly happy, and it was always when I was thinking about something else, engaged in something different – things like enjoying a marvellous sunset, walking by the river, curling up somewhere warm and cosy with a good book, talking with friends about shit and just laughing and laughing and laughing.

Makes me wonder why I spent so much time chasing ghosts around my own mind.

Makes me wonder why I’m here, tapping away on my keyboard.

But then I remember you, dear reader. This is for you. I hope it means something to you. Something useful.

(inspired by a post that Joss wrote –Β https://she-who-hears.net/2017/04/28/meta-post/Β (sorry, Joss – I nicked back the comment I wrote on your blog))

39 thoughts on “Rocked My World

  1. I’ve wasted too much time chasing ghosts in my mind, to only realize that it kills my soul slowly each day. The more we look back and wonder, think about the “what if’s” the harder it is to live in the moment. I am sure, looking backwards only enhances the depression some of us already have, so it’s a matter of looking forward.

    I try to live in the moment and appreciate the little things such as nature and beauty. After all, if we don’t love and appreciate what we do have knowing we are abundant, we can never be blessed with more. ❀

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  2. Thought provoking…oh wait, I shouldn’t think too much about it. I better think about something else instead. πŸ™‚ A change of environment and/or activity definitely helps to redirect one’s thoughts. Thanks for sharing, Robert.

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  3. It does make sense to me that the more you focus on sad or depressing things, the worse you would feel! I don’t mean you can always ignore bad things, but I’m getting good at making a conscious effort to be happy every day, choosing to be happy.

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  4. Robert,
    I find that as soon as I begin to feel negativity in my life, I work really hard to think about a positive moment. Something that made me smile. A good of good or kindness. The shift in energy makes a big difference. If I feed into my negative thoughts, I attract more negativity. It’s a downward spiral from there. You found an example book it sounds like. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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  5. I always thought depression wasn’t logical. I’ve only had a very mild form and one of the killer triggers was peeling spuds. I’d just have to lie down and go to sleep. We used to eat a lot of spuds. Maybe that is the trick, just accept the shitty stuff and go out and watch a sunset. When you come back some kind person might have finished peeling the spuds.

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    • I sense you’re ambiguous about the possibilities inherent in the approach I advocated. πŸ™‚
      I reckon that someone will always peel the spuds.
      It’s funny, but peeling spuds and stuff like that has always seemed like fun to me.
      Maybe that’s one of the tricks – finding someone that completes you in the sense that they like the stuff you don’t and you like the things that you don’t.
      Crazy world at times.
      Happy sunset watching, Jane. πŸ™‚
      Kindness – Robert.

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      • I wouldn’t discount any theory. Depression is so unfathomable. Husband had a bad bout of it when he started having job worries and just clammed up completely. I was horribly upset, but he doesn’t even remember it now! Selective memory maybe. Whatever, nothing surprises me about depression. It’s frighteningly slippery.

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      • *Robert sighs and thinks to himself that there are some very wise and beautiful people in his world*
        Thanks, Jane – you’re a very wise and lovely person.
        Blokes are just built like that – I wouldn’t worry about it too much. They are like rubber bands – can stretch (but not too far (without breaking)), but will return back to their original shape. Well, on the inside anyways. πŸ˜€

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      • I don’t worry now, because I think he’s learned to talk about things more. I think you’re right that men find it harder to say what they feel. I’m not lovely really. I’ve just had a lot of experience of listening. Lots of people don’t listen. Sometimes it makes a big difference.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ask him how he learned to do that, can you? I could do with lessons on how to talk about stuff. Actually, on reflection, I could do with lessons on how to listen too.
        Really.
        Plus – I can neither play the tuba nor the violin.
        You’re right, though – you are a very good listener.

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      • I think he learned how to do it because I wanted him to. He has always been able to talk the hind leg off a donkey, but not about personal things. He plays the violin. Do you think that helps? If he played the tuba I’d have left him years ago πŸ™‚

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      • Hahaha – yeah, I would have left myself too if’n I’d have taken up the tuba! πŸ˜€
        So how did you teach him how to talk about personal things? If’n you don’t mind me asking.

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    • Thanks for the reminder, Ed – balance is very important. Love and detachment, inside and out, rest and activity – all sorts of things.
      Do you have a background in psychology by any chance?
      Kindness – Robert.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You know, that’s really odd because I posted a piece that, at the end, called for psychologist, psychotherapists and psychiatrists to come into my life and advice me on a particular matter. Since I wrote that, seemingly everyone I meet is of that persuasion. Coincidence? Synchronicity? Attraction? Who knows.
        Anyway the piece is called Michael.
        Have a great day, Ed – hope you attract true joy into your life.
        Kindness – Robert.

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    • Yeah, I’ve always had the experience that life is cyclical.
      Night – day – night – day –
      Blues – reds – blues – reds –
      Blocks – frees – blocks – frees –
      Spring – Summer – Autumn – Winter –
      I wouldn’t say I relish giving in as such – I just keep that awareness that ‘this too will pass’ –
      πŸ™‚
      I respect your experience.
      Kindness – Robert.

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