How to Win at Football

I was listening to a football* match the other day and one of the players was called Schindler. He happened to be on the opposition team, but I remember thinking that I wanted him to do well because he saved all those Jews from the Nazis in that movie – Schindler’s List.

And that’s when I had the idea of how to assemble the most popular football team in the world.

This team would be supported by everyone and, as you well know – a team that has their fans behind them, urging them on, is absolutely unstoppable.

Here’s how to do it. Have each of the players in your team, regardless of their ability, change their name, officially, to one that is famously popular.

So, for example, you could have, amongst others – Pope John Paul & The Buddha in defence, Mahatma Ghandi & The Dalai Lama in midfield and Martin Luther King Jr. & Shah Rukh Khan as strikers. Of course, Jesus Christ would be in goal, primarily because he has a reputation for saving on a regular basis.

It doesn’t matter which sport you pick – this principle will apply to all. So, whose name would you adopt for your favourite team player?
*Some of y’all, in other parts of the world, might know The Glorious Game as Soccer. You’d be wrong, of course, but that can’t be helped.