The story I am about to tell you is true …
(Sounds like a great story haha)
… I am as sane as the day is long. But as the sun goes down, I feel a subtle change in my mind? Chemistry? Biology? Sanity! When the last rays of the sun disappear and the streets are dark, I put on my dinosaur costume and take to the air.
Perhaps you have heard me. Maybe you have heard that sound; the one that makes you look up nervously as you walk through that alley. You pull your coat tighter around you and quicken your footsteps …
(Ohhhhhhhh you mean that random screeching I end up hearing outside my window at night ??)
… but you’re far from home and your coat is thin and the wind slices through to your bones. A shadow flits across the end of the alleyway and you stop.
Looking nervously around for a place to hide – if you need to.
Looking for something to use as a weapon – for if something happens. If shadows turn to shape. If shape turns to …
There – a figure at the end of the alleyway – a long coat swirling around ankles as the breeze takes it. A face in shadows. A voice.
You break into a smile – this is a voice you know. A warm tone. You start to walk towards him as relief floods through you. He pulls his hood back as you get closer.
It’s not him.
(You know I’d probably still run and hug the guy .. pick-pocket him then use his weapons on him !! Ohhhhhhhh I hope he has a katana)
Your mind whirls, weighing options. Run back down the alley? He looks like he could chase you down. Freeze in place like a rabbit in headlight? Sounds like a plan. Or do the unexpected – go towards him and give him a big, warm hug.
You set off towards him at a run, picking up speed. As you get closer you hope he has a katana – your weapon of choice; the weapon you will pull from his pocket as he melts under your embrace. The weapon with which you will …
A sudden screech from above is all the warning you get before I am on you. I have swooped down on reptilian wings and when I rise again, you are in my power. Struggle is futile – I have you firmly in my claws. The power in this dinosaur suit is awesome and I easily carry you back to my rooftop and place you gently down before landing beside you.
I see that look in your eye – fear mixed with … lust? I watch calmly as you reach inside your coat and something – the twitch of your eyebrow, the curve of your smile, tells me that you have a glitter gun in there – and it’s not pink, yellow or orange …
(Now you’re psychic and can tell someone has a glitter gun by a smile … Creepy man, very creepy)
I was right – it’s a glitter gun – and it’s long and black. I can tell from the way you handle it that it’s your favourite. It has a satisfying heft, a strong feel, a hard smoothness. Your hand caresses it and you point it at me. You know that you are in charge, You know that you can make me do anything you want. You are the boss.
Your smile widens and your tongue slips out of your mouth – tiny and pink – cute and irresistible. You glance down at the zipper to my dinosaur suit and I can tell what you are thinking. You gesture with the glitter gun and I know instantly what you want me to do. My finger go towards the zipper and …
(*BOOM* I pull the trigger and you fall off the roof)