So these are my instructions for the hourly beep (the beep that sounds on my phone every hour to remind me to follow the instructions):
- Set next beep (set up the next hourly beep when the last one sounds so that I don’t have to set them all at once)
- Be aware of emotions for one minute (which is like a mindful awareness of the body wrapped up in a one minute meditation)
- Record what I did for the past hour (I originally set a limit of five minutes on this but practically it takes about ten)
- Resume working.
I made the mistake of setting up the outline of this post (header, tag, category) before I started the minute, with the result that instead of being aware of my body I was more aware of what I was going to write about it. You might think that these amount to the same thing, but they’re not. What I feel in the body is simple, one-word stuff. What I write is more about how I feel and what I think about those simple words. Still – we live and learn.
So, this is what I found in the body:
- A real need to pee
- A tremulousness about the jaw (probably due to the need to pee)
- A tendency to overanalyse stuff when I don’t catch myself.
So here’s the over-analysis that I referred to. I was wondering how the urge to pee would feel if I woke up one day with all my memory (of what that feeling means) erased somehow. Would I be able to work out what the feeling signified? How soon would it be before the-muscle-that-holds-pee-back relaxed so that my bladder emptied? I mean, at the moment I have years and years of conditioning that holds that bladder closed through thick and thin – deep sleep, dreams of peeing and anything else that comes along. How much of that conditioning is under conscious control and how much is … autonomic (if that is the word)? Interesting, huh?
As far as work goes – I still haven’t discovered how to make an Excel save without asking me. I still haven’t figured that SQL/InfoPath thing out. But I have changed all the logos on the systems we control to the new one. All I did was opened them on the SharePoint server, modified them in MS Paint and saved them back. In this way, every page that pointed to the old logo now automatically points to the new one. Fascinating, right?
And now – I really do need to go for that pee!