9am Friday

Friday morning. I just did I scan through my body on the premise that emotions live there.

  • Stubborn in my lips
  • Sadness behind my eyes
  • Fear in my cheekbones
  • Acid in my throat
  • (no word) above and behind my scalp.

Some of these are not emotions. Some are. The itch I just scratched on my left cheek is not. The tightness in my chest is. Or is it? I say it is but really it’s just a tightness. How did I come to give the label ’emotion’ to it? It’s an indicator at best. Not sadness. Also – not stubborn, not sadness, not fear. Just indicators. I feel that I can leave them and just concentrate on the (no word).

With the body I walked to work whilst reading a book about meditation (Get Some Headspace by Andy Puddicombe). Moderate success at keeping my eyes to myself (to my book). Moderate success with the meditation exercises in the book. No success with the feeling of sadness (but that seems to have largely passed now).

Realised that … ah, it’s gone now. Something about shame. It’ll come. Ah, here it is: I need to either stop doing things I’m ashamed of or stop being ashamed of the things I do. Big realisation, huh! (yeah – sarcasm)

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