The World Warps Me

I’m going to become an enlightened being. Not for myself, but so that I make all other sentient beings enlightened (yep – that means you too). I’m going to do this by being compassionate. That’s my project for this afternoon.

This morning’s project was to become a world-famous graphic artist.

Yesterday I was going to be a super-cool, ex-military, semi-vagrant person who goes around fighting evil and doing good.

Anyone here spotting a trend?

Let me clue you in.

Yesterday I began listening to the audio of my third consecutive Jack Reacher novel. This series of books by Lee Child features (yes, you guessed it) a super-cool, ex-military, semi-vagrant person who goes around fighting evil and doing good.

This morning, because I’ve been doing a lot of doodling lately and I need to expand my repertoire, I took out The Cartoonist’s Workshop by Steve Marchant. Then I found out that my brain’s not capable of listening to a Jack Reacher audio-book at the same time as reading an instruction book on how to be a graphic artist so I set aside that childish thing and spent the morning reading about how to create comical heads. I drew a lot of heads!

This afternoon, I walked out of the house fully intending to get another dose of ultra-violence via Lee Child’s noir (‘a genre of crime film or fiction characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity’ – Oxford Dictionaries) creation. However, because I was occupied by eating a handful of grapes until I was a good way down the road, I didn’t notice that I had forgotten to bring both my smartphones with me. So because the audio comes to me via these devices – no blood-splattered action for this sick puppy.

So I did the only thing possible under the circumstances (no, not walk along marvelling at the huge variety of manhole covers in the pavement (Gas, Water, Electricity, Cable, Sewers, Phones)) – I opened my bag and took out my emergency book!

On the turntable at the moment is The Dalai Lama’s Little Book Of Wisdom by (yep, you guessed it again) the fourteenth Dalai Lama. You’re on a roll now – guess what chapter six is about! Yep – being compassionate, becoming enlightened and helping all other sentient beings to attain enlightenment! You’re amazing – give yourself a good old pat on the back!

But unfortunately, all this has to stop! You see, I’ve lost track of who I really am and what I want from life. Reading all these books; not to mention watching movies, talking to people and generally being part of the world has warped me so much that I just don’t know which part of my mind is me and which part is a conglomerate of everything that I’ve sucked into my mind through these eyes and ears.

But what can I do? It’s not as if I can walk around blindfolded and with earplugs in for the rest of my life! How am I to remain pure (that’s supposing that I can even get to the state of purity) and yet still live in the world?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address please (aka the comments box below). I await you answers with interest.

Warning: I may have to utterly ignore what you say in the interests of purity. I’m sure you understand.

Actually, when I think about it – maybe you could reply tomorrow. I’ll probably have some other  bee in my bonnet by then and will have started a(nother) new pet-project.

Until then – I’m sending you compassionate vibes. Feel free to become enlightened as soon as you like so that I can tick you off my list.


60 thoughts on “The World Warps Me

  1. Bless your heart…if I understand you, then I’d add that I get it…the process of becoming more of who you are is a mystery that can be so confusing (and emotionally-draining in good ways and uncomfortable ways). Taking the time to be still and quiet is so important–and, easier said than done when one is trying not to rush the process (but, secretly hoping for instant relief). You mind is so creative and brilliant…it is capable of processing so much–which, I imagine feels like to much on any given day (I’ve been there…am there for a time each and every day). On the other hand, I embrace the many times that I am overwhelmed by the wonder of it all…of all that unfolds as I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am sooooo confident that you are on the right track…you’ve brightened my day just by sharing your thoughtful and wry post…thank you for being just as you are, for you are AWESOME! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. We are all part of you, and you are part of us … resistance is futile! Bwahahahahahaha.😈
    But seriously, the boundaries we place between our outer and inner worlds are illusory; we are a continuum. Nevertheless, kudos to you for recognising the need to turn your attention within and ‘find’ yourself. Good luck with that! No, I’m not being sarcastic. I haven’t missed the irony of you posting this for ‘the world’ to read and encouraging us to express our opinions so that you may, in turn, ignore them. Yay, I’m talking to myself! But we are you and you are us, so it’s all good. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thwarted!
      But yes, you’re right – there was a lot of stuff that was contradictory there. How am I supposed to receive help from others if I’m determined not to accept the input of others! Madness!
      It raining here in York and I’m listening to it pattering against the window. Despite the ironic corner I’ve painted myself into, its still an immensely comforting sound.
      Good night and sleep well when it’s your turn, S.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Of course, I was just playing the devil’s advocate by implying there is no ‘self’ to find; of course it exists. Even if the notion of self is illusory, it’s still real. Yes, I recognise the contradiction in that statement. I believe the concept of self can be compared to the notion of time. Time is also an illusion, but it’s real for us in our limited perspective within our 3D reality.
        Yes, the sound of rain against the windowpane is very soothing. We had a thunderstorm that brought quite a bit of rain yesterday. Hasta luego, mi amigo!

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yes, subjective reality: you filled in the missing part of my previous comment. 😊 Perhaps so-called ‘objective’ reality is just the conglomeration of subjective realities reaching a critical mass? Or not.
        Your left shoulder is really aching?

        Liked by 1 person

      • It was aching then (subjectively) but is not now (so perhaps never was, objectively).
        A ‘critical mass’ of subjective realities – interesting idea. I often wondered how other people contributed to my instant-by-instant creation of the world. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Glad your shoulder’s no longer aching (subjectively or otherwise). My right shoulder and upper back has been so sore recently.
        I came up with ‘critical mass of subjective realities’ as I was typing my comment. 😊


  3. OH, YOU GUYS (and gals)! It is very true, at least I think, that who we are part of the time depends on what we are doing at the time. In reality, we are still who we were originally, but have no clue what that was after so long living in la la land. I think we all have our la la land, maybe even more than one. Does that mean we all have multiple personalities? There is a lot of frustrating things about our world around us, so we can read a book, watch movies, etc., which can take us from reality. BUT, if you do in fact, learn about the universal laws, meditation, and so on (like who we really are and where we really come from), you will find out how truly amazing life really is. But, maybe your life will change to much and you like it the way it is. Just saying… We are what we eat. We are what we think. That is weird to say, because I wound up toothless and bald without even thinking about it. GREAT POST and a GREAT bunch of commenters.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I read books on meditation, and specifically Buddhism, I come across phrases like “all life is suffering, pain, and misery” (the First Truth) and I always think to myself ‘this is not my experience’. Then I think – ‘is this so because I’ve read so many meditation books and done so much meditation?’ I suspect it might be.
      So yes – I have found out how truly amazing life it (in a small way). But this doesn’t stop me from my endless speculations and discourses on the meaning of … life, the universe and ballpoint pens, but it does stop me from thinking that what I write about my experience at that point will be true for all time.
      I love this kind of conversation.
      At the back of the me that’s having this conversation there’s always a sense of me, laughing my frickin’ arse (English word for fanny/ass) off to see such fun. 🙂
      Great to meet someone who (I suspect) is laughing too. 😉


  4. This is me, all over. Multi-tasking, making resolutions and getting lost–I’ve made three sacred pacts tho: everyday exercise, meditation and writing. i do get in each of these everyday and find that I’m less and less lost. We’re being bombarded by too much information and entertainment and need to switch off once in a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s a book about how to become a graphic artist? Damnit…had I known THAT I could’ve saved myself years at College and all the subsequent years trying to break back into the industry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha – you should have asked me, chick – I’d have set you straight. 😀
      Apparently there’s also this place called Library. Not been able to verify this yet. Suspect it’s a myth. 😦
      Where can I see your graphic art? Yeah, you’re going to tell me to look on your blog now – I can just tell. There will be links to another site where you’ve painstaking laid out your work for all to see. I can see that I’m going to be so ashamed of not being proactive and looking there first.
      Fla. Such is life.


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