The World Warps Me

I’m going to become an enlightened being. Not for myself, but so that I make all other sentient beings enlightened (yep – that means you too). I’m going to do this by being compassionate. That’s my project for this afternoon.

This morning’s project was to become a world-famous graphic artist.

Yesterday I was going to be a super-cool, ex-military, semi-vagrant person who goes around fighting evil and doing good.

Anyone here spotting a trend?

Let me clue you in.

Yesterday I began listening to the audio of my third consecutive Jack Reacher novel. This series of books by Lee Child features (yes, you guessed it) a super-cool, ex-military, semi-vagrant person who goes around fighting evil and doing good.

This morning, because I’ve been doing a lot of doodling lately and I need to expand my repertoire, I took out The Cartoonist’s Workshop by Steve Marchant. Then I found out that my brain’s not capable of listening to a Jack Reacher audio-book at the same time as reading an instruction book on how to be a graphic artist so I set aside that childish thing and spent the morning reading about how to create comical heads. I drew a lot of heads!

This afternoon, I walked out of the house fully intending to get another dose of ultra-violence via Lee Child’s noir (‘a genre of crime film or fiction characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity’ – Oxford Dictionaries) creation. However, because I was occupied by eating a handful of grapes until I was a good way down the road, I didn’t notice that I had forgotten to bring both my smartphones with me. So because the audio comes to me via these devices – no blood-splattered action for this sick puppy.

So I did the only thing possible under the circumstances (no, not walk along marvelling at the huge variety of manhole covers in the pavement (Gas, Water, Electricity, Cable, Sewers, Phones)) – I opened my bag and took out my emergency book!

On the turntable at the moment is The Dalai Lama’s Little Book Of Wisdom by (yep, you guessed it again) the fourteenth Dalai Lama. You’re on a roll now – guess what chapter six is about! Yep – being compassionate, becoming enlightened and helping all other sentient beings to attain enlightenment! You’re amazing – give yourself a good old pat on the back!

But unfortunately, all this has to stop! You see, I’ve lost track of who I really am and what I want from life. Reading all these books; not to mention watching movies, talking to people and generally being part of the world has warped me so much that I just don’t know which part of my mind is me and which part is a conglomerate of everything that I’ve sucked into my mind through these eyes and ears.

But what can I do? It’s not as if I can walk around blindfolded and with earplugs in for the rest of my life! How am I to remain pure (that’s supposing that I can even get to the state of purity) and yet still live in the world?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address please (aka the comments box below). I await you answers with interest.

Warning: I may have to utterly ignore what you say in the interests of purity. I’m sure you understand.

Actually, when I think about it – maybe you could reply tomorrow. I’ll probably have some other  bee in my bonnet by then and will have started a(nother) new pet-project.

Until then – I’m sending you compassionate vibes. Feel free to become enlightened as soon as you like so that I can tick you off my list.