You have Nothing to Lose

Just had a deep conversation with a guy as we walked in glorious sunshine through fields and forest; none of which we were in the slightest bit aware of.

He was telling me that he had a breakdown, a communication with his first girlfriend who was on her death bed (and was not in the room (or the house, building or city) at the time) and other such inexplicable things (to me).

I was telling him that I’d never had any deep or strange experiences and that I’d always been quite stable and normal.

He told me that he had a time where, for weeks on end, he experienced bliss.

I said that I understood intellectualy, but could not relate emotionally; and anyway – what’s so bad about bliss?

He shared with me that it wouldn’t have been so bad if he had nothing to do but that it included times when he was at work, crying and calling up his partner and saying that he just didn’t know what to do. He was proper gone. Like, off his head.

I said ‘oh, like that’ and then told him that I reckon that I’m not able to be hypnotised and that someone had told me that this was because I was not able to let go, and that I feel like I have built many dikes (the guy is from Holland) between myself and all experiences of this kind.

He said (and this is my take-away-point from the whole conversation, so take a note), ‘you have nothing to lose.’

So, taking him at his word, here’s my question: how do I go about dismantling these dikes, kind readers and friends?

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15 thoughts on “You have Nothing to Lose

  1. Robert, you are a brave soul to delve so deeply in this forum. I guess you had nothing to lose in asking? I enjoy such stimulatingly questions, but they are rarely simple. Do you want to be different? If your life is fulfilling, no one should say how you handle your experiences is not the best thing for you? Dikes can serve a useful purpose. I sense creativity and depth of feeling in your writing so you are experiencing emotions. Perhaps your “friend” was suggesting you be more expressive in regards to your feelings? How can changing help your life be better?

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    • Do I want to be different? Yes, in some ways. I would love to be more open to (struggling for words) the metaphysical side to the universe – the deep connections and invisible events that touch and connect us all.
      is my way of handling experience the best for me? Yes and no. Yes because that’s how I’ve constructed my life (and I feel it strongly that I have done so) but no because in constructing my life in this way, I have necessarily had to build walls. The thing is – I’ve forgotten how to move those walls about without bringing the whole edifice down on my head. A practical example – I’d like to listen to music more, but it’s not always welcomed by other ears. To bring about a change like that involves breaking something. Do I want to do that? Well – yes and no. 🙂
      I would like to express my feelings more often. I guess that I can do that, but my audience is limited by virtue of vows I made. Should it be? I don’t think so, but sharing my emotions with ‘the wrong person’ be something that would involve breaking other walls.
      How can changing help my life be better? How much time do you have?

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      • Robert, hopefully asking the questions will bring some insightfulness. I think it is okay to ask if the benefit of changing is worth the effort or result? I guess none of us has a perfect life, where we handle everything exactly as we should every time. It also seems you might be a little hard on yourself. Grace extended to ourselves is as awesome as when extended to others. Tiny steps and the tortoise wins the race. : ). I enjoyed your response. Be happy.

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      • Working through the answers to my own questions would bring me some peace, but I’m not sure I would call it insight anymore. I used to call it that before I realised that I was just changing the way I thought about the question. It’s like the difference between using an electron microscope and a pipe-bender to examine the intrinsic nature of matter.
        Changing rarely involves just the person that changes. The effort might be worth the reward if no one else were involved, but not when you consider the sum of all the pain.
        Grace to myself. Never considered that. Not really. I guess despite being (seen as) selfish, I actually think of others too much (to be redeemed).
        I’m happy. Kinda. Nothing to be worried about.
        Anyway – how’s your day going, Dee?

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