Imago / Michael (the uses of tense)

You don’t need to bother about bothering me, matey. I’m not going to give you any money. Ask me for some small change and I’m just going to smile and say ‘no thanks’. I mean, thanks for giving me the opportunity to fund your drink and drug habit, but ‘no thanks’.

I see all these signs saying support the homeless and good meaning people rattling buckets at me, but when are they going to start supporting me back. Life is all about give-and-take, not take, take, take. You give me something and I’ll give you something back; quid pro quo, as the Romans used to say. I don’t hold with freeloaders. I just don’t. An honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work. And what you’re doing is neither honest or work.

I done my bit. I done my day’s work and I gets my money from it and then I gets my house and comforts and my little bit of luxury if I fancies it and that’s alright; because I earned it. It’s my due. But if I give you money for nothing then what are you going to say when you’re asked to give an account at the end? That you scrounged all your life and did nothing for it? Nah, mate; I’d be doing you a disfavour if I did that to you. You’d be losing points in the great accounting hall in the sky; and I just wouldn’t want to do that to you. So that’s why I’ve decided to give you a chance to earn your dosh.

This is how it’ll work. You tell me all about your life, and I’ll type it all up and make it into a booklet for you. I’ll even take a photo and put it on the front so that people’ll recognise you and know that it’s all about you. You can call it what you want: My Life on the Streets, or How I Got to the Streets, or Why I Do What I Do, or whatever; you choose. What do I get for it? For all my hard work typing and formatting and printing and binding? Well, I figure that if I give you the copies for free and then I get the right to make copies, then that makes us about even.

And then, if I put your life together with the lives of other homeless people, then I can make a book out of it and stick it on Amazon or something. And yeah, I might make a few bob out of it, but you’ll be making money hand over foot at the same time with your own story. It’ll be a win-win thing, right? That way, the karmic accounts all balance out and we’ll all be happy when we meet the accountant in the sky.

And if the book sells shed-loads, then maybe people’ll come and want to talk to you and maybe put a few extra quid in your hat. I mean, you’ll be famous. You can sign your little booklet and sell it for double the value. It’ll be a collector’s item. Folk’ll want to collect the set. Sounds good, right?


This is all connected to anything you see on this blog about Michael or Imago. Here are some links for you to investigate further (one of them leads to this post):


12 thoughts on “Imago / Michael (the uses of tense)

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