Subtitles for the Sensitive

The wife’s got supersensitive ears. They hurt whenever I play music at any volume above a whisper. Strangely enough, her sensitivity to sound doesn’t extend to situations where I ask her to do anything for me, like (please) throw a pair of socks downstairs or (pretty please) iron my shirt. Perhaps playing Candy Crush Saga numbs her ears somewhat. Who knows.

Anyway, I like to watch a show on my phone (I’m on series three of New Girl – a comedy show starring Zooey Deschanel) while I’m washing up. I do this primarily because washing dishes is boring, but also because: any excuse, right? I don’t want to cause my wife any discomfort so I turn the volume down low and put the subtitles on. Works for me. Works for her.

Was just on a Skype call with one of my esteemed work-colleagues from north of the border (Dundee I think) and he was sharing his screen (so that I could see his desktop on my screen) and talking at the same time and I don’t know what it was (maybe I was listening with the wrong accent?), but this thought went through my mind: ‘I wonder if I can enable subtitles’.

Now I know that this is borderline racist and all of that, but it gave me a quiet smile. Not sure if my colleague in Scotland would find it as funny, but there it is.

Needless to say, I couldn’t find the subtitle settings.


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