This morning I saw a cow (not a bull – I can tell them difference thank you very much) trying to hump another cow (yeah, this one had udders too) as I took my morning walk by the river.
I would have taken a photo for your delectation (because I know that’s what you’re into!) but for the fact that:
- In the first second, I was too gobsmacked by the unexpected sight of a swinging and engorged udder on the cow that was doing the mounting
- In the second second, I was too amused by the fact that the cow being mounted was walking away as quickly as it could whilst the upper cow did it’s best to keep up on two legs
- By the third second, it was all over.
And to make it worse (if that’s possible) – standing next to the amorous couple was a calf! Actually, it didn’t seem at all fazed by what was happening; to be honest, it just looked bored.
You could almost see it thinking, just like your typical teenager: “Jeesh, Mom, do you have to! There’s people watching!!”
Then I walked on.