The Vicarious Diet

vicarious [vahy-kair-ee-uhs, vi-] – taking the place of another person or thing; acting or serving as a substitute.

Dictionary.com

Just what the world needs – another diet, right? Well, yeah – it does. There are lot of fat people and lots of thin people. Look up the the stats yourself – you can use Google if you like.

So this is how the Vicarious Diet works in three simple steps:

  1. Choose a target weight. Say you’re twelve stone (convert it to kg if you like) and you want to lose a stone, then your target weight is eleven stone.
  2. Find someone with the same target weight. Now here’s the trick: with a target of eleven stone you need someone who is currently ten stone.
  3. Swap lifestyles.

Step one is easy – everyone knows what weight they feel most comfortable at. And if they haven’t reached it’ll yet, it’ll have featured in their dream for sure.

Step two can be made easy once the diet has become widespread. There’ll be an app for it. Just input your current weight, target weight and press Go. The algorithm will then match you up with a suitable partner.

Step three can be as fun and interactive as you like. Generally it be the most effective and fun if you are in constant touch with your partner and this can be facilitated through the app.

Basically, you will be swapping every aspect of your lives: what time you get up, what you eat for breakfast, how far you walk on your mid-morning sojourn, how fast you walk/run/cycle, how long you rest afterwards etc. etc.

If you throw yourself wholeheartedly into this diet then you will see many benefits. You’ll not only gain/lose weight but you will also connect intimately with another human being. You will be, in essence, sharing your dreams, aims and objectives with them. And you’ll experience a novel way of eating, sleeping and exercising. In a sense, you’ll be living a new life.

And with all that in mind – what are you waiting for? Start living your life vicariously now – you could well become a better person for it!

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