No, not you and me. We’ll be okay. No, I mean Sheffield Wednesday Football Club. We’re doomed, I tell you!
After we got defeated by Wycombe Wanderers (yeah, I know – who indeed!) I said the same thing. I mean, c’mon! WW will finish bottom of the division and get relegated from whence they came at the end of the season, so why are they beating SWFC? Obviously because it truly is the end times and we are doomed.
There was was ray of hope last week: the SWFC manager Gary Monk got sacked. Of course, Gary complained. Who wouldn’t? He declared that he shouldn’t have been sacked because he hit his target (getting SWFC into positive points) for this stage of the season. Since we started at minus twelve (don’t ask) you’d be forgiven for higher management thinking that this meant that we pick up a minimum of thirteen points so far. But what happened? We only went and got our points-penalty reduced to minus six thus putting us instantly at zero so far (due to the six miserable points we’d accumulated under Gary Monk so far) and so … Well, whatever the so is, it meant that Gary thought he’d gotten a Get Out of Jail card by us being in positive figures after drawing with another forgettable (yeah, I’ve forgotten which one) team and thus picking up a single, solitary point. Turned out he hadn’t and off he went elsewhere.
So, yeah – the second part of the ray of hope is that we got a new manager in the shape of Tony Pulis, so we had high hopes of getting back into winning ways. Turns out that wasn’t true either. In our first match with him in charge we had a man sent off after 17 minutes and then conceded a goal and then went on to lose the match. I could have told you that would happen; Tony sounded nervous in his pre-match interview. Unsure managers don’t inspire players. And so he didn’t. During the match we had a miserable 25 percent of possession and five shots on goal, none of which hit the target.
That brings us up to an hour ago from when I wrote this. So, yeah – all together now: we’re DOOMED!!
Still, on a brighter note, you’ve been treated to something a little different to the existential stuff I usually churn out. Welcome to football (yeah, no – not soccer and certainly not American football)!
Roll on the next match.