(Part one of a two parter. Part two can be found here.)
I’m reminded of the stone statues of faces on Easter Island – all of them looking rather grim and all of them many, many years old. Can the human heart last so long in such a grim state?
Many years ago, I was a data-entry person at a steel firm in Sheffield. The job was so boring that I regularly used to fall asleep whilst entering this data. Literally. My head would drop and I would be away. I would awake some time later staring at a little pool of drool a few inches away from where my fingers were still resting lightly on the keyboard.
It wasn’t just my lack of interest in the job that sent me drifting away into sleep, it was the fact that scant hours earlier I had been enjoying myself at the local nightclub. And not just that night, but several night per week. In short, I was staying awake as long as I could in order to enjoy myself. I was living the dream. My dream.
Nowadays I do much the same. I try to stay up at night for as long as possible and then go to bed where, after a night’s sleep that always seems to be way too short, I wake up in the early morning hours to grope my way through the darkened house into the kitchen in order to make a nice cup of tea to wake me up.
This may seem like the same behaviour as before, but it’s a little different now. This time around I’m not partying into the early morning hours, I’m working on bettering myself.
I have a lifelong love of learning and I adore newness. Whether it’s facts or techniques it’s all the same to me – I pick them up like shiny pennies from the pavement. And it doesn’t matter which subject comes up – I love them all.
My absolute favourite subject, though, is me. I have never been so fascinated with anything than my own sweet self. I find that there is so very much to learn about the way I am set up inside. My attitudes, perceptions, awareness and the very fact of my consciousness are all of immense interest to me and they earn my scrutiny every single minute of the day.
There’s so very much of me that, sometimes, I get lost in my own immensity. I can often latch onto a single thought and then follow it for leagues across my inner landscape. Behind my eyes flicker images and scenes that enthral me with their complexity and attractiveness. I pass from one idea to the next with bewildering speed until I am as far away from my starting point as my body is away from the far end of the universe.
And then I wake up and find that a small puddle of drool has formed beneath my open mouth. Ah, some things don’t ever change.
Because I know that I have the tendency to follow thoughts into the depths of myself and this turns into physical sleep, I try to take steps to avoid this. No, I don’t take the obvious step of getting to bed earlier; life is much too interesting for that. Instead I try to clear my mind.
When I think about what I just said, I wonder how this would help me to get to know myself better. Why would clearing away the thoughts in my mind enable to to know more about myself. Surely I am my thoughts, right?
Turns out that I’m not. I’m the thinker rather than the thoughts. What I’ve learned is that the more I can go beyond the thoughts that come automatically into my mind on the basis of what I see, hear or remember, the more power I have to generate my own thoughts. And when I do this, I can create wonders.
Imagine that you could decorate the rooms of your home at the click of your fingers. Now realise that your mind is your real home. You have the power to change the wallpaper in your mind as fast as your thoughts can travel from one neuron to another. Bam – your internal walls are fluorescent-green. Wham – they are powder-blue.
And it’s not just the colour scheme that’s under your control, it’s your emotions too. Emotions happen as a result of what you think. Put a kind thought in your mind and you feel happy. Place a cruel thought there and you will feel sad. But here’s the thing: it takes a little practice to get things set up the way you want them to be.
This is why I meditate. This is why I sit and practice clearing my mind. Because, the clearer my mind is, the fewer thoughts I have to compete with when I want to create those of my own choice. And the fewer thoughts I allow to enter my mind randomly and without my choice, the less I get dragged away by them into small pools of drool.
I can get very still inside. I can rest easily there and float serenely in a place that’s beyond worry and apprehension. And I can remain still even when disturbances come knocking. I can do this because I know that any reaction I have to external events is only a thought. It’s just another thought that I can choose to follow, or wave to as it floats past me and away leaving me still still.
But it’s not like being a zombie. There’s emotion and action and living and enjoyment and dancing through the streets of my life, but it’s all set to my own music and according to the script that I have written for myself – one of love, purity, happiness and beauty.
And the more I meditate; the more I go within my mind and practice creating my own, beautiful thought, the better I get at writing my own script and the music to accompany it.
Those stone statues of faces on Easter Island are alive in a way that few realise. They are testament to a life lived away from the distraction of things. They represent the many faces of love. Not love of the things of life, but the love of the beauty of life itself.
Because the thing is – they’re not grim at all, they’re at peace. They have found that the surest way to a long life is to step away from the hurly-burly of everyday living and move to a higher level of existence. They have found that a heart filled, not with love of possessions and things, but with a peaceful coexistence with themselves and the world is the very acme of a contented life.
And that’s what I’m trying to achieve for myself. This lifelong education I’m giving myself is not only about the things I find in books and on the internet, it’s about what I find in the crystal-clear depths of my mind and heart. And it’s not just about the thoughts and feelings I find when I dive within, it’s about what I find when I clear these things away and see what’s behind them. It’s not about the objects on the altar but it’s about the clean, pure lines of the temple when everything has been swept, cleaned and cleared away. It’s about what I discover within myself when my heart is clean. I find love in its purest form. Not a love of doing but a love for being.
Any questions?
(Part one of a two parter. Part two can be found here.)
a happy man is not asked questions, he is given a smile. 🙂
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A truism! Thank you very much. 🙂
Just one quick question: what makes you think I’m happy?
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you describe yourself with galloping joy full of epinephrines
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Adrenaline, also known as epinephrine, is a hormone and medication. Adrenaline is normally produced by both the adrenal glands and a small number of neurons in the medulla oblongata, where it acts as a neurotransmitter involved in regulating visceral functions (e.g., respiration).
Funnily enough, I’ve been quite low over the past couple of weeks. It’s only now that I’ve started to feel better and happier.
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I have seen 🙂
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You noticed? Okay, that’s good. You’re a perceptive person and I’m glad of that. I tried to keep my chin up, but – you know – sometimes it’s difficult sometimes being human. Thanks for sticking with me, Donna. 🙂
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you are always amazing 😊
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Aw, that’s nice of you to say that. I had the feeling that one’s amazing but it’s nice to get a confirmation. 😀
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Sometimes a compliment slips from my fingers
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Haha 😂
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😇
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Watch how I rescue this thread from sputtering out like a damp firework:
If you don’t mind me asking, Donna – have you ever been in love (or, indeed, are you now) with a sailor?
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is a really curious question that was incredibly asked to me several months ago … do I have the appearance of a woman waiting for her man for months?
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Having no idea of what your appearance is like I have way to answer that. 🙂 But yeah, there is a slight tang of old salt about you. 🤠
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“what a big nose you have …” said little red riding hood
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“All the better for smelling you, my dear,ĺ said Pinocchio. 😀
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liar! 🤣 I see your boots and whiskers!
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What! Girl, you’re just too smart for me. 🤠
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no, it’s just that a meow came out from under the whiskers 😊
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You have whiskers? 😀
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can you see them there too? 😛
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No, not really. Not under the mask. 🙂
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👺
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Is it carnival already? 🤠
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it was the only image with a mustache 🙂
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Haha – okay, that’s cool. I know that some women from the south of Europe have problems with hair on their upper lips. It’s really quite natural. Nothing at all to be ashamed of. 😸
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I’m an anomalous blackberry a cross between north and south 😛
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Haha – nice! 🤠
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Grazie 🙂
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I looove thiss
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Excellent! I love that you love it. ♥
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💓
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Wow. This was incredible! It’s hard to believe someone falling asleep at work but the way you described thoughts and how existing in oneself doesn’t make them a zombie is so true. I loved this sentence, i find it hard to explain that constant state of wondering but this is a definition in itself. ” I can often latch onto a single thought and then follow it for leagues across my inner landscape.”
P.S This is a wonderful write but there are a few typos.
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Haha – I’m surprised that there were only a few typos. The reason being is that I just wrote that off the top of my head and then posted it without doing any kind of spell-checking or sense-checking. I’m surprised that a person of your high standards could get any enjoyment out of it at all. 🙂
But yes, it seems that you and I are alike in that we have an appreciation of thoughts and where they can lead us. It’s good to meet you, D.
I’ve just spent a few minutes tidying it up and correcting the typos. Hopefully it reads a little more smoothly now.
Thanks again for reading. I am so very appreciate of that and of your perceptive comments. 🙂
Robert.
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That’s fine! You make it sound like I’m a high school English teacher😂 I enjoy reading anything as long as the subject is interesting and age appropriate of course.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. But typos and I never get along well.
Of course!
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No, you’re not rude at all. I much prefer honest feedback to sycophancy. 🙂
How do you read my English? Natively or with a translator? Can you understand it fully without a translator? I mean, you known that I’m already in awe of your linguistic capabilities and so I don’t even know why I’m asking. For all I know you could be a language professor from Oxford University who decided to go live in India. (But I doubt it.) 😀
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“Sycophancy” is a new word! Thank you!
No, I don’t use a translator. I know English better than my Indian languages because I was exposed to English at an early age. Actually, English is also a mandatory subject in schools here and most students know how to speak it reasonably well.
No. I’m still another student trapped in school 😂
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You’re welcome. 🙂 Let me know if you want any more new words. I have lots. 😀
I’ve always wondered why I get a lot of readers from India in my blog. I don’t know whether they come for my sparkling personality or whether that’s a general thing and every English blog gets a high proportion of Indian traffic. Do Indian teenagers gravitate towards English speaking blogs?
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Sure!
Apparently, so many blogs here are by Indians and quite a lot of bloggers have mentioned the majority of their readers are from India. I should say it’s both😂 Very few Indians tend to write in their native languages due to the lack of readers for that particular language. Not only gravitate, their own blogs are primarily English. Despite being Indians, today’s generation is more inclined towards English books, songs and movies. They aren’t likely to run or read blogs in Indian languages unless they have a particular fascination for it.
Besides, English is a bridge of sorts too!
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I thought it might be something along the lines of what you’ve just explained – thanks for that, D.
That’s an interesting comment: ‘English is a bridge of sorts.’ Can you expand on that?
Just noticed that I seem to have stopped being funny. I must adjust.
And I’ve just noticed that I sometimes rhyme words (must adjust). Makes me think about Hindi and the words that rhyme in that language. How are poems written in a language where just about every sentence seems to end in hai (for example उसका नाम सन्नी है।)? Just wondered. 🙂
(and don’t worry – I corrected ‘if’ to ‘of’ for you)
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No problem!
Oh, I just meant that since it’s a globally used language, people from different countries can use it to communicate thus forming a bridge between them.
Can one stop being funny?😂 I thought it occurred naturally.
Actually, ‘hai’ is almost the English equivalent of ‘is’. In English, sentences have a standard structure of ‘subject, verb, object’ but in Hindi it is ‘subject, object, verb’. So, hai, used as frequently as ‘is’ often appears at the end of a sentence but lines of poems however don’t always end in ‘is’ or ‘hai’. Hope that gave you an idea!
Thank you!
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Ha, and you tell me that I’m not allowed to see you as school ma’am (school mistress). 😆
What’s a good and famous (in India) Hindi (or Malayalam if you prefer) poem that rhymes conventionally so that I can check out what’s at the ends of the lines?
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Well, you did ask 🙂
I’m afraid I can’t help you there. I don’t read a lot of Hindi or Malayalam other than what I did for school. But you could check out Rabindranath Tagore’s poems, his English works are also incredible!
This link leads to a few of his poems that don’t exactly rhyme but don’t end in ‘hai’ either😂
https://www.prayogshala.com/poets/rabindranath-tagore-hindi-poems
The third one, नहीं मांगता is quite good!
Hope that helps!
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Tagore is amazing! On a pair with Rumi for sure. I have a hardcover copy of Fireflies but it’s all in English so thanks for the link. I’ll bookmark it to read tomorrow. 🙂
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Definitely! No problem!
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Transcendence, I believe, is what you describe in finding the pure you–“It’s about what I discover within myself when my heart is clean. I find love in its purest form. Not a love of doing but a love for being.” When You achieve this state, you have transcended what Jung would have called your “shadow” and you have entered into your “light.” Until we can truly accept our shadow, we can never truly free the light within us. He described this as Ying and Yang. I understand what he describes, but I prefer to describe it as our Christ-like image. The goal is to ultimately merge as much of the shadow as we can into the light. The more we are able to do this, the closer we are to the image of Christ. It is not an easy thing to do, transcendence, but the journey is very enlightening. Thank You, Robert, for sharing yours. Blessings!
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Blessings to you too, my friend. I am very happy that you chose to share this with me. It clarifies things for me and helps me to realise that I’m not alone on this strange journey. I imagine you a little way ahead of me on the path and I appreciate your light.
Kindness – Robert.
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It sounds like you are doing quite well along the way. Where we are along the journey is never as important as what we do while there! Blessing in this Holiday Season, Robert! Treva
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Thanks, Treva. 🙂
By the way – which holiday season is that?
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This is Thanksgiving Weekend here in America. Traditionally, it begins the Christmas Season. Where do you live?
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I live in England. Specifically North Yorkshire. More specifically York. S’funny but I thought you were in Africa. 🙂 Yeah, thanksgiving – that makes more sense now. 😀
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Yeah, No. Not in South Africa. Born and bred in the US of A. lol 😊
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Yes, Bruce. 😆
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