How to Write for Magazines

Hey there – do you own a magazine or do you know someone who does? If so, I’d very much like to write for you. If not, and you want to do the same as me then read on. I’ll reveal to you the different types of articles that you can write for magazines. But if you read it, you’ve got to promise not to try to write for the same mags that I want to write for. Deal? Okay, you can read on now.

So, here, in no particular order, are the seven types of magazine articles in demand right now:

1. Investigation. When something gets popular, like cooking or Christmas, this kind of article is ripe for writing. All you need to do is look into the subject and then write about the opposing point of view. You might want to interview one or two experts here (or just read about it on Wikipedia) to get some background, but the ideas in the piece should be your very own.
2. Interview. This is where you get out there and talk to someone famous (or infamous) and get them to tell you all about their dark, little secrets. If you can dig out a piece of information that no-one knows then you’re more likely to persuade people to read your piece. So, yeah – you either have to be good with people or a dab-hand with the thumbscrews.
3. Commentary. Pick something that you’re interested in or have an opinion on and write about it. It’s helpful to know a little about your chosen subject and the more expert you are the better it’ll be. If you want the article to be read by lots of people then pick something popular but if not – anything goes. So, for example, write about diet recipes rather than lace doilies.
4. News. Like it says on the tin, this article is about something new that’s happened as recently as possible. I know, I know – history is always repeating itself, which means that the latest pandemic is just like the Black Death or the plot of I Am Legend (minus the zombie vampires) but the people are different, both the victims and readers. So focus on them.
5. Expert. This is where you get to break things in the interests of science and entertainment (tip: get stuff from manufacturers). Actually, you don’t really have to break it, you just have to tell other people how well it works or how to avoid breaking it. Reviews of new products fall into this category but, actually, you can write about the features of anything you gosh-darned please.
6. Instructions. There are guides on how to do pretty much anything available on the web (or even, so I hear, in libraries and bookshops) so you need to either write very good blow-by-blows or pick something that no-one else has written. For example: how to fall downstairs without impaling oneself on the Christmas tree or something niche like that. Also – witty is good.
7. Experience. This is pretty much what I write all the time. I think of funny, interesting, beautiful and/or useful events, realisations or strange ideas from my life and I just write about them. I’m warm and chatty when I produce these articles and I dare you to get through one of them without snorting, whether in disgust, happiness or just plain old awe.

So, yeah – that’s it. Happy writing. Hope you a make a tha plenty of money (or at least have a lot a tha fun) in the process.