Time Machine

Imagine you’ve got a time machine – what kind of voice will it have.

Well, it’s be configurable. It’d have setting like the tills have in M&S or Poundland so that you can have a bit of a ‘ho, ho, ho’ at Christmas or a touch of Elvis whenever you feel like it. If I was fortunate enough to be the one to configure the voice of a time machine then I’d steal the machine and go forward in time and win the lottery then go back in time with the money and buy a whole set of shares for myself like Amazon and Tesla and all those companies that are doing well right now. Then I’d bring the machine back and give it the voice of Jesus Christ (our saviour). And they’d all be, like, who’s this? And I’d be, like, it’s JC, man! Don’t you recognise him? And they be, like, yeah, the Aramaic totally gave it away, but, Dude – I was thinking you’d be better to go for something more recognisable – like Thomas the Tank Engine.

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