This isn’t a good place to write. Not from what I’ve experienced so far. There’s a table by a window that lets in too much light. There’s a bed that’s too soft. There’s someone in the bathroom trying to do their business whilst listening to every creak and groan in the house. There’s another person in the bedroom making creaking and groaning sounds too close to the bathroom. There are too many rules. There’s a head on the edge of ache. There are birds that can’t be heard and a sound of silence that’s too faint to break through into reality.
When I was little, I knew how to play. Then I grew older and I forgot how to be natural and just did stuff by rote instead. Enjoyment fell from me and plummeted into a pit. I can’t find it anymore. It’s as if a part of me has had a snit, hidden the toys and now refuses to tell me where they are.
How do I Open in the face of all of this?
I must do so in the same way that Olympic Divers perform dives. They practice, get feedback, change continually, get good and then hope they don’t slip in a patch of someone else’s sweat in that crucial second before launching themselves from the tip of the board into the air. Go up well and, all else being equal, you’ll come down well.
How does this apply to you and me?
First of all, decide what Open means to you. Obviously it can mean different things to different people. Batsmen and books respond differently to a request to Open. Fists and hearts hear Open with their own unique points of view. Ovens and fridges seem similar, but aren’t. Who are you? Are you a heart or an eye? Meditate on this.
Once you’ve gone within and pulled, kicking and screaming, your version of Open from the depths, it’s up to you to decide on a course of action. Flowers are delicate. Doors are utile. Laptops are sources of information. Cupboards are full of all sorts of stored things. Which are you?
Then what do we do?
Well, your course is your own. I can’t tell, from here, what you are, much less tell you where you go with your being. If I could, I would be called Psychic Bob and have my own syndicated TV Show and be portrayed by some handsome and talented Movie Star on the big screen. But I’m not.
So, in summary: overcome your demons, look within, decide who you are, figure out what you want to do and then practice until your being is expressed by your doing. Then, as natural as a child’s arms, you will Open.
And if none of that works for you, then still have a great day and come back tomorrow in the hopes that I’ve produced something more coherent. Chances are I will.
Y’all have a nice day now, y’hear!