Positions

I had a meltdown not long back. I totally lost it. My head was so messed up that everything was black. Let me tell you: if I’d have known then what I know now about the role of decent values, then I would have had a much easier time of it. What I’m going to share with you now are the three values that pulled me out of those dark days into the light.

The beauty that I see in my life now is, in a way, down to the fact that heaven sent you here for me. I know it’s a cliché but you’re the angel that’s saved me. With all I’ve learned from the past, I just know that this time it’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. I know that I’m not going to repeat history.

It’s amazing how I’ve been accepted now. I met your family on Sunday and it was such a sweet day. We all went into town together and then, after going to your family’s place to change, we took a picnic into the countryside and spread the cloth in the shade of a big old oak tree and ate and laughed and drank and ran around and then drank a little more. I tell you, I was giddy by the time we set off back. Then on Monday, you know how it was. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. I ended up feeling good from the tips of my toes right up to the top of my head.

So yeah, what about those values. Well, in the dark times I couldn’t see any hope for the future. But that’s because I wasn’t planning for one. The thing about the future is that it doesn’t come along all by itself. I know that you imagine it should and does, but it’s not the future that’s coming up; it’s the past. When you don’t sit down and figure out what you’re going to do with your life then the same things that happened in the past repeat on you. That’s what I mean by the future not coming along by itself. Deliberately thinking about what I wanted for the future became very valuable to me. It became the first value on the path to my transformation into a happier person.

I know for a fact that you used to like other people as well as me. Everyone told me so. They said, don’t you mess around with that one because you’ll never be number one. You’ll just be a number. I didn’t want to be just another person to play around with. So that’s why I’m going to be doing something very special for you. Without going into too much detail, I’m going to do and be everything for you. I’m going to fulfil your every need. Pick almost any room in the house and I’ll be there for you. I mean, obviously there are some places where you need a little privacy; but apart from that – I got your back. I’ll be jumping through every hoop I can think of to do this for you. If love is an Olympic event, I’m going to win gold.

And that brings me to the second value that I’ve adopted in order to change my life from dark to light: giving. Before this, I was the most selfish person you could imagine. Everything was for me, me, me. Anything I did was solely because I wanted to do it. I was the most important person in the universe and I made sure that no-one got in the way of that. If someone wanted me to do something and it didn’t suit me, then I wouldn’t do it. I just sailed on by, content that I was doing okay if I was putting a smile on my face by following my own desires. It didn’t matter how many people around me were unhappy so long as I was fulfilled in my own little bubble of happiness. That was before I realised how valuable it was to give to those around me. You have become the centre of my world. I give myself to you.

Actually, you’re totally worth anything I could ever give you because you’re perfect in every way. You’re too good to be true, in fact, but that’s not going to stop me from showering an infinite amount of love on you. Like I said, you’re worth it because everything that I give to you, I get back double. It just feels great to be with you. It feels tremendous to run by your side instead of running away from life, people and you all the time.

The third value I’ve taken on is related to what I just said. It’s trust. I had such a problem with trusting people before now. I’ve been betrayed you see. People have come along and I’ve tried to trust them, but always, in the back of my mind there’s been a fear that they would hurt me and so I held a small part of me back. They must have sensed my fear and my reserve and it must have caused the inevitable betrayal. People who have the value of trust give everything to those around them and they don’t do it out of compulsion, they do it for love. Because my love for you is infinite, and because I’ll do anything and everything for you, it’s certain that you’ll never need anyone else.

This is stuff that I usually don’t do, but for you, I kind of want to, because you’re there for me and I’m there for you too.

So that’s my story. I was in a dark place, but with the help of my newfound values of planning for the future, giving everything that I have and trusting that you and the world will do right by me, I’ve turned myself around. I’m in a position to be able to spread love and light around me now. Thank you for your part in this, and thanks for listening.

7 thoughts on “Positions

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