Is this a godless world? It seems so. I haven’t found god yet. Everywhere I look there are things but nothing that resembles god. I have been told that he is everywhere. I have also been told that he has no images. That means that he can’t be in anything that has an image. Logic leads me to think that he must be hidden inside something.

God isn’t hidden inside me. I’ve looked. And anyway, when you think about it, why would he be inside me? Surely I’m not a good place for god to be. I have an image. I am limited. God wouldn’t be in a place such as this. Besides, like I say, I’ve looked.

What’s the difference between what’s inside me and what’s outside me. I always thought that everything was inside me but it’s been pointed out to me recently that this isn’t the case. Marcia said that she definitely isn’t inside me. I don’t know her thoughts (true) and she doesn’t know mine (also true) and so we can’t be comingled in that way. I thought that maybe her body might be inside my mind because everything that is sense-based (coming in through the five senses) has to come through my mind in order for me to perceive it. But when you think about it, just because I perceive it with my mind doesn’t mean that it originates in my mind. So god is outside of me, despite being perceived by some kind of sense that I have within me.

I’m pretty sure that god is not perceived by the five senses. I can’t taste god and nor can I interact with him using the other senses. That must mean that god is outside of me. But where?

Some say that they know god. I don’t know whether they are telling the truth because I have no access to their thoughts. Some even say that they have seen god (in a vision). I haven’t. God hasn’t appeared in my thoughts, feelings, visions or dreams.

They say that god is love (alongside a whole host of other good qualities). How do I perceive love? I can perceive the love of other people through their actions and words. At least, I think that I do. As I say, I have no access to their thoughts and so no way of knowing if their thoughts are in harmony with their words and actions. But say that they were telling the truth, then this could be one route to god: through his actions and words.

What are the actions of god? Well, there’s a tricky one. Opinion seems to be divided on this issue. Every religion seems to have one set of actions that they believe god to have performed. The Christians believe that he sent his one and only son, spoke through a burning bush and created the world (among other things). Hindus believe that god is omnipotent, omnipresent and another omni that escapes me for the moment. Muslims believe that god … erm, actually, I don’t really know what the Muslims believe about god. That he hasn’t got an image? That he, in some way or other, dictated the koran through a prophet called Muhammad (although I understand that an angel was involved here). The buddhists don’t seem to believe in god. Judaism is a little obscure (for me) on the matter of god (does he exist only in the old testament times?). So, yeah, no kind of consensus on the acts (and much less the words) of god.

If I saw a tsunami-style wave coming towards me from the sea and I was on the fourth floor of a building across the road from the shore, what would I do?

My first thought is to shut the curtains so that if the glass was broken then it would not get into the room. Then my thought was to leave the room. Then I wondered if it might be best to have boots on, but they are next to the door on the ground floor. I think that the building is strong enough to survive the first hit of the wave, but I’m not sure what I’d do next. Would I have to swim or would I be better staying put to wait for the water to go down. In the first instance, boots would be an encumbrance and in the second they would be very helpful.

Point of telling you all this is that I would expect to live through the experience. It’s not a situation where I would seem to need god. I wouldn’t be praying, I would be doing something practical to survive. I see much of life in the same vein. I don’t really need god to do anything in particular for me. Even when I’m upset, I don’t ask for god to take away my upset, I either wait for it to reside, or I do something to change how I feel. Seems to me that I’ll only really need god right at the end of life.

Now, I’m not going to seek out an end to life. I’m not going to look for that for myself and I’m not going to be looking for it in the experience of others. And besides, even if I did do the latter then there’s no way to know the thoughts and experiences of others as they were dying in order to find god there. But my own death will come at some point (not this week, thanks very much – I have other plans). So should I expect to find god waiting for me after this point?

Obviously, I have no idea whatsoever. I mean, sure, I can speculate. But I can also do that whilst I’m alive too. Not, of course, that it’s done me a blind bit of good to do so over the past few minutes. I’ve been speculating away to my heart’s content and god hasn’t tapped me on the shoulder and said anything to me. I mean, sure, perhaps he’s been guiding my thought and words in some ineffable, invisible way, but what good does that do me?

But wait. Here’s a thought. There is a lot of good and love in my life. People themselves seem determined to spread love and light into my life. Maybe, just maybe, they are god’s instruments. Hey, wait a minute. I get a lot of happiness from other things in my life too. Perhaps they are ways that god is spreading his good qualities into my life. And in that case, chocolate is definitely a gift from god!

Well, in that case, I’m going to see if M&S is open and get myself a dose of god.

Yeah, that’s how trite I am.


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