When You Don’t Give …

I don’t know why, when or how it started, but I have become very selfish.

There is a dark side to me that doesn’t want to give, help or communicate and it’s become very close to being the only part of me that’s active.

I sometimes think about reaching out to help others, but I hardly ever follow through. I amuse myself by thinking about writing letters, making phone calls or moving house to live near to people who probably don’t remember me, but I don’t.

People reach out to me, trying to bridge the gap between me and my isolation. I see their bridges and watch them for days, months and years thinking that I’ll feel like walking over them soon. But I don’t.

In the grand scheme of things, this is a phase I’m going through. But it’s lasting a long time. So long, in fact, that I doubt there will be anyone left at the end of it. But, for now, I like it like this. Tomorrow’s another day.

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