Shaking Sadness

Strikes me that death causes sadness, and that sadness, while it can be appropriate for a finite amount of time, is ultimately not a state for anyone to linger in for long.

I just killed a snail and, as a result, I feel sad.

Two things: firstly: I didn’t kill the snail on purpose and secondly: the life (and death) of a snail is not as significant as that of a beloved queen. But there parallels, as we shall see.

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote about the five stages we go through when we lose something valuable. Well, forget about that; I’m going to give you some proper advice on how to overcome loss. Here’s what you have to do:

  1. Say sorry as soon as you hear the crunch of the tiny carapace under your boot. Don’t worry, you’ll mean it; trust me. Life is precious, even when it’s small.
  2. Get rid of the corpse. It goes without saying that, no matter how sorry you feel, you don’t want to walk around all day with snail on your boot. Find a piece of grass or a puddle or, better still, both.
  3. Balance your feet up. Now, I’m not saying you should stomp on another snail, but it’s good to, somehow, get both your feet feeling alike. Maybe go buy some nuts in shells and crunch one of them under the other foot. I don’t know why but it just helps when you balance out your experience.
  4. Do something to take the horror out of your mind. Try reading a book. If you don’t have a book with you then write a blog post about your experience. Or any experience. Heck, just whip out your phone and write.
  5. If you can, arange for the battery on your phone to die half way through typing your blog post so that your precious words disappear into the ether and then walk home in a funk, growling at everyone you pass on the way (man and dog) whilst reflecting on the fact that you’re not even recording your steps anymore due to having a non-functioning phone in your pocket.

After you’ve done all that then it’s as certain as the sun shines that you’ll not feel sad about any recent death whatsoever. Sure, you’ll feel bitter and twisted, but hey: that’s a small price to pay, right?

You’re welcome. 🐸

7 thoughts on “Shaking Sadness

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