You’ll be Wiser by the End. I Was (Am).

I’m disinterested in most of the things I’m doing.

Most of the things I do I do out of habit.

Even the things I used to love aren’t as interesting as they used to be.

I need to find something interesting or I need to love being disinterested.

I’ve tried the former and it leads to disinterest so I should try the latter.

Loving being disinterested sounds contradictory.

I can’t think of anything wrong with contradiction.

The mind can hold all kinds of opposing views simultaneously so this shouldn’t be too hard.

Loving the state of not loving is as easy as being disinterested in being interested.

I loved chocolate. I’m not interested in loving chocolate.

I loved music. I’m not interested in loving music.

Of course, I know that this is just a phase I’m going through.

When you go through phases you come out on the other side transformed.

I want to transform even though I’m not interested in transforming.

I’ll go through this change even though I don’t want to.

I’ll walk to the end of the street because the idea of being at the end of the street appeals.

It’s the journey that does not appeal rather than the destination.

I don’t know what the destination is.

There is a destination even though I don’t know what it is.

There is always a destination.

Let the destination be what it will be.

I didn’t know what I would type before I started typing it.

I still don’t know what the end of this piece of writing will bring.

I’m typing even though I don’t know where it will lead.

Songs start, last for a few minutes and then end.

Melodic songs usually follow a set structure.

Chocolate consumption leads to a set of experiences.

Most of everything follows a predictable path.

I think that it’s the predictability of experiences in my life that I’m bored with.

I feel that I have discovered something here.

I wish I had told myself this right at the beginning of this piece of writing.

If I had known everything about the destinations I arrived at I might not have travelled there.

But then again, I might still have gone there.

I have arrived at many destinations that gave me enjoyable experiences.

I will arrive at many more enjoyable experiences.

It would be nice to be smart enough to know which journeys will lead to enjoyable experiences.

That’s insight number two.

I wonder if I will arrive at insight number three if I keep typing.

It’s wise to keep walking because you never know where you might end up.

If you stop walking (or reading (or eating (or journeying))) then you will not have new experiences.

That’s old wisdom but it’s nice to arrive at it anew.

Some pieces of music are so annoying that I want to stop them immediately.

If I try to discover more about the people that make annoying music then it becomes more interesting.

Knowledge enables me to appreciate things more fully.

Too much knowledge about something makes me disinterested in it.

There may be a balance between not knowing enough and knowing too much.

There could be a sweet spot between knowing and not knowing.

Perhaps I need to know when to stop in my search for knowledge.

This could go on forever.

Conversations like this probably do go on throughout life and can lead to wisdom.

Typing out conversations like this can accelerate the journey to wisdom.

When I say ‘conversation’ I mean this monologue.

There is no one here but me (and you).

I’m aware of you as a listener but I know you are not active in this conversation.

I would recommend that you do this yourself because it is calming.

As well as being calming this is also soothing.

Something that is fat-free, calming, soothing and leads to wisdom is well worth doing.

Stop reading and do this for yourself.


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