Still

Boring disturbs.
A bear in my mind – grumpy and bite.
Elephant on my chest – gestating dumpily.

And it’s not that I never don’t not know what I do
As I augment with whorls and crenulations.
Serif to my courier.

It’s plain to me that the milk in my tea is sour.
I know it well.
I know.

But still
Still I bite.

Ah, still the mind and stir the heart.

Someday Bloody Someday

Some days
I feel like a territory
A property in a portfolio
A something to defend at all costs.

Some days
Beasts roar with wild rage
Blood spurts across my face
Fights break out in the hallway.

Some days
I’m wrapped in bandages
To keep the sun from my eyes
And I’m fed oranges from far away.

Some day
I’ll look back and I’ll laugh
And I’ll count all my stars as lucky
I see them now – through the bars.

Starting and Ending

Salted fields
And angry sun
Are hard enough.
Grinding poverty
And raging hunger
Are sharper blades.
The loss of loved ones
And the death of tomorrow
Are split backs and crushed dreams.
No mother should live to see her child die.

Expansion

Used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself.

1. usually transitive, sometimes intransitive To have a strong affection for (someone or something).
2. transitive To need, thrive on.
3. transitive, colloquial To be strongly inclined towards something; an emphatic form of like.
 
1. object pronoun The people spoken, or written to, as an object.
2. reflexive, now U.S. colloquial (To) yourselves, (to) yourself.
3. object pronoun The person spoken to or written to, as an object. (Replacing thee; originally as a mark of respect.)
 
1. Against.
2. In the company of; alongside, along side of; close to; near to.
3. In addition to; as an accessory to.
1. Every individual or anything of the given class, with no exceptions (the noun or noun phrase denoting the class must be plural or uncountable).
2. Throughout the whole of (a stated period of time; generally used with units of a day or longer).
3. Everyone.
First-person, possessive pronoun in the English language.
 
1. anatomy A muscular organ that pumps blood through the body, traditionally thought to be the seat of emotion.
2. uncountable Emotions, kindness, moral effort, or spirit in general.
3. The seat of the affections or sensibilities, collectively or separately, as love, hate, joy, grief, courage, etc.; rarely, the seat of the understanding or will; usually in a good sense; personality.

Open Heart Surgery

Open Heart Surgery

I was expecting to love life.

When I was a child,
I thought it would be fun
To be older and wiser.
I thought that I’d be able
To do all those things.
Things I couldn’t do
because I was too small.

It’s strange to see now,
How, from the point of view
Of being ever so much older
(let’s leave wiser aside for a while),
Small is something I miss terribly.
Smooth skin and endless energy – wheee, imagine that!

Small wants large.
Large wants small.
Will we ever learn
That we have it all?

There are a million different versions of me in this heart.
If only I could find the right cut.
To find the right place.
To find the right me.
For today.