A Letter from Me to You

Hi WordPress Peeps,

Strikes me that you might be curious about me and what I do? Hmm, let me think. Here’s a potted Bio I prepared for some other purpose – perhaps you could pick something out of the bones:

I live in York, UK where I work as a data wrangler for The Man whilst secretly planning my next career as a World-Famous Author. You can find me on my blog (obviously) most days so please drop a comment in to say hi. I also have a show on 5 Towns Radio, a podcast called Sklugoo Speaks and make really good vegan pizza.

My radio show? Well, that’s a bit difficult to define because I haven’t really got a particular style like other presents there. I don’t play reggae like DJ Reptile Rock, I don’t stick to the easy listeners like Barry York and I’m not a Dance Anthems Diva such as Fiona. The best you can say is that I play really good tunes that I love (and that I hope you will too) and then wax lyrical about them in an effusive and bubbly style. Oh, and I also read a story that I’ve written and published on my blog about halfway through each show.

I record from home and so send my shows in for Chris (the station supervisor) to schedule. In the emails, I describe each show. Here’s how I described the latest one I sent in (a few minutes ago):

This week’s show is all about me, in a sense. You know how I’m called Robert Day, well this is a whole show full of songs with the word Day in them. Predictable, it’s called The Day Show! We start off with a cracking tune that’s also one of my wife’s favourite songs: These Days by Rudimental. Then, as the show progresses, we go through each of the seven days of the week with a song or two (or three) for each day. So we have Boomtown Rats telling us how they don’t like Mondays, through to the end of the working week when The Cure tell us how they are in love on Friday finishing on Sunday when U2 get Bloody, Blondie have a Girl and Morrissey tells us that every day is like this one. Then we freestyle it for the rest of the show taking in Dermott Kennedy, Coldplay and Radiohead among other stellar acts. All in all, it’s a real blast of a show and the 5 Towns Radio listeners are sure to love it.

I know that this is all way too much verbiage, but I hope you get the gist and are able to pull something out for your own purposes.

The picture is from a month ago today. Don’t ask. 😃

Best regards,

Robert in Shorts


I have 35 items in my Drafts folder on WordPress. A lot of them are structures for novels or stories. Many of them are stories that I wrote for my MA in Creative Writing. Some are articles I wrote for the same course. Three are outlines of Creative Writing workshops that I delivered in various places (Middle East, England and … somewhere else). A couple of them are erotica. One is the name of the short story collection I’m going to release when I get my act together. One is a list of ten things I urgently need to change about myself. And one is so secret that I can’t even tell you what it is.

I’d like to publish everything (apart from the super-secret one) but I’m not sure if I should. What I should really do is follow through on the ideas inside them rather than just punt them into the limelight. I have shame and I have ambition and I have secrets and I have the sense that the things I do should be more fully-formed than they are.

I’m someone who does things by half-measures. I’d like to have many lives to live but I only have this one and so I spread my efforts over my many subjects rather than go deep into just one. Life’s more enjoyable this way. I fear I’d get bored if my life was that was. To catch a cliché and pin it to the page: I’m a jack of all trades rather than a master of one. All the things in my Drafts Folder are half-measures. Then again, most of what I write and record and broadcast are half-measures too. I want to be better but I also want to be the way I am. Put another way: I want to be better for the sake of others and I want to be what I am for the sake of me.

Pleasing myself (no, not pleasuring myself – that’s something different) is one half of the coin I’ve always struggled with. The other half is pleasing others (no, not pleasuring others – see previous note).

This is old ground I’m covering here.

Why am I doing it then?

Because I’m reading a book by Sam De Brito (who, I’ve just found out, is now dead as of his 46th year) called The Lost Boys (no, nothing to do with the movie featuring Kiefer Sutherland and (maybe) Julia Roberts) in which he, quasi-autobiographically, talks about his youth in a style that, while it is crude and vulgar, is ruthlessly honest. I just don’t have that kind of honesty. But I could have. In fact, I do, but I don’t let it out. I hide things inside myself that I’m embarrassed about. The kind of stuff that your psychotherapist keeps telling you to tell but that you don’t until several years and a lot of money have gone down the toilet.

Some of the stuff in my drafts is the real me. Some of it begs to be released. Some of it can go pluck a chicken. It’s not getting out. It’s staying in the equivalent of my under-consciousness.

Hey, that’s a useful analogy: the draft folder on WordPress is the subconsciousness of the mind. I mean, it’s not, because it’s completely accessible to me. But not to my (non-existent) psychotherapist. Or you. Unless you’re a hacker. And if you are; don’t bother. It’s just the same sort of stuff that’s hidden away in the back of your own mind. You know what I mean?

What Do You Know?

I can write. You don’t care about that though. I can talk about myself but you don’t care about me neither. I can tell you things about the world but the world only interests you if it contains you. You’re only interested in you. If this says nothing to you about your life then you have already stopped reading. And if you have then I’m only talking to myself. And if I’m only talking to myself then I might as well forget about you, If I’m talking to myself then I might as well think about what this audience of one wants from me. It’s an easy riddle to solve. I want to hear from me about me.

If you’re anything like me then you can listen too.
If I speak to your heart then what’s good for me is good for you.

I’m listening to Grime. Grime is a kind of rap. I don’t know much about rap really. I only know what I’ve heard of it and what I’ve read. I read that one of the themes of rap is braggadocio, which is to say that rappers brag about aspects of their life. I noticed this before I read it and I wondered why they did this. Now I know that they’re doing this because that’s what it says on the tin. It says ‘brag’ and so they brag. I used to wonder why rappers always seemed to be so angry. Maybe it’s just passion, though. It isn’t the first time I’ve made a mistake about people so who knows.

If you know anything about me then tell me.
If I speak to you about things you know then explain them to me.

My wife just came downstairs and so that’s that about that.