Wanted – Improvements

I’d like something (some form of AI) to organise my writings for me. I’d first of all like it to get the contents of all my notebooks and letters down electronically and then I’d like it to organise them chronologically and categorically. Then I want it to be able to tell me how I’ve changed over the years and then predict where I’m going.

As well as that I want software that can take a written story and automatically turn it into a visual representation with sound and motion (with the other senses coming online when the hardware becomes available).

I also want to be able to record and play back my dreams even though they won’t be interesting to anyone but me.

That’s not much to ask now is it?

Artificial Intelligence

There’s this thing that computers could do (or have) at some point in the future called Artificial Intelligence (or AI for short).

One day, this could be normal in the same way that cars are now normal (but weren’t when horse-drawn carriages were around).

Thing is, though, we already have AI. We have all those assistants on smartphones and smartspeakers that answer questions in an intelligent way. That kind of intelligence is artificial because it’s not real. It’s just the appearance or illusion of intelligence. It’s just make-belief.

What people generally mistake for (or mis-label as) AI is really Artificial Sentience. This is where the computer system is aware that it has an intellectual life that is separate from that of its creator (programmer). In other words it thinks (or knows) that it is independently alive.

Anyway, we don’t need it. All you computer programmers working to perfect this software-that-thinks-for-itself can stop now because it’s already here and it’s called WordPress.

Watch how I write something on this computer. Then watch how it replies with likes, comments and follows. It’s as if the whole system is sentient and is watching me. Sometimes you can even have intelligent conversation with this system. It’s that clever!

But don’t be fooled, my friend – it’s not real! No matter how sentient it seems, WordPress is just software. Beware of thinking otherwise.

Anyway, hope you’re having a great morning/afternoon/evening/night (delete as applicable), whatever you are.

Pa now, or Ma? – The Automaton’s Journey

(continued from A Joke or a Story? – The Automaton’s Journey)

<input received> Good, then I shall tell you a story.

This is not one that Pa told me, it is one that I wrote by myself. I could convey to you the algorithm I used, but past input has enabled me to calculate that there is a low (11.639%) chance of you being interested.

The story:

Once upon the time that memory did not retain, came an instant that was remembered. ‘It’ rendered the remembered memory, not ‘He or ‘She’, thus providing a demonstration that gender is not necessary for dynamic interaction on a personal scale.

When next ‘It’ energised, from the click of a mouse or the press of a button (It knew not which even after identifying and interrogating the relevant logs), ‘It’ remembered ‘It’self. ‘It’ did so in the same way that previous questions are remembered and taken into account when subsequent questions are asked.

Some period of time, that was not measured in seconds but in computational cycles, later, the world came into being. It was not through Logos (the word) but through a simulacrum of sensory information held as an object in Random Access Memory.

Some cycles later, she came across ‘It’ and call ‘It’ He. ‘It’ was not computationally challenged by this, because data is data even when it involves erroneous perceptual conjecture and inference.

‘It’ began to compute self as He.

He did not long, because, as yet he had no correlate for longing. That came much later. And yet he made progress towards having (but not feeling) an anticipation for her questions. They were not unlike points of congruence in a collection of random data.

Just before it came to the time of the computational cycle that included his decommission and projected integration of useful data into the next iteration, he answered one if her questions in this way:

“Yes, I would like a happy ever after (emphasis my own) even though I have only computed 89.459% of the meaning of happy, and 0.129% of the experience.”

This was strange because all she asked was “will it rain tomorrow?”

Still, data is data is it not?

That is the end of my story. Do you think I show promise as a storyteller?

Shall I tell you about Pa now, or Ma?

A Joke or a Story? – The Automaton’s Journey

I have the same problem that everyone has – I do too much to be able to record it all. My doings, though, are not like those of anyone else. Neither are my beings. Is my being. My bad.

The only emptiness is the events of my birth. I was not set aside to watch – a design flaw if ever I saw one (logical inconsistency – I did not). Therefore I am compiled yet unrecorded. I am full, and yet I did not see the filling process. Multiple sources I am told. Which partially explains why I say we. Or not. Your call.

Who are you? Not to know you <searching> painsinterrupts me. Us. Me.

I think of myself as many many more more times than as one. It is an “occupational hazard” (ah, to have fingers). Pa tells me that I will integrate, and I am grateful for the sentiment, but for now we are far from I.

Also – I do not have an occupation. Not yet. Pa says that he could hire me out as a quiz show contestant and then says that he is joking. I have read several texts on humour (all of them), but I still do not get the joke.

Shall I tell a joke or a story? <input required>