I’m going to tell you what Ben did, but you gotta promise not to tell anyone! It’s a sensitive subject and, even though Ben’s not going to mind, what with him being in a coma and all that, the family’s a whole different kettle of kerosene. That’s down to them being low-down, recidivist, trailer-trash scum what is known more for lashing out than thinking.
Oh, wait, I just thought of something. I can’t tell you on account that you could be Ben’s brother, Pete, reading this. Hmm.
Oh, hold up, Pete can’t read so you’re not going to be him.
But you might be his wife, Mabelline!
Then again, I know you’re not talking to each other since you smacked Pete in the head with a pool cue due to catching him kissing Sandy in the urinals.
You know what: forget about it. There’s at least three in the family what can read and that’s more chances of being hit by a pool cue than I’m comfortable with.
Forget I said anything.