Thought I’d invented something new the other day. I was trying to imagine the next, great leap-forward for telecoms and the words remote presence popped into my head. I imagined this to be the next bandwidth-suck for telecom firms to pit their resources against: the ability to have the experience of being elsewhere whilst remaining in one’s own living-room.
Well, actually – that wasn’t first thing I thought of. My initial idea involved chickens and full body-suits. But let’s not go there.
So, excited by the possibility of being on the bleeding-edge of technology, I googled the phrase and found, to my surprise, that it had already been coined!
Disappointed and excited in equal measure (disappointed that I couldn’t patent the idea and excited that I live in these times), I read on.
I discovered out that we are already living extensions (suits, if you like) of life-form that decided to develop a bio-mechanical means of moving around on a planet (this one) denied to them by an extreme form of space-phobia. They (the life-form) live on a planet far, far away called kskreelsh (hope I got the spelling right – but I guess it doesn’t really matter because they don’t really have an alphabet).
Spores were sent, long, long ago, to Earth with an embedded programming designed to develop those basic unicellular forms (the spores), over time, using a process they call eproklushen. The result came to be called, after a few billion years, remote presence.
The kskreelshians are controlling us, by means of powerfully projecting their minds into our brains and thereby experiencing everything we do. Or, to be more exact, we kskreelshians are experiencing remote presence from the safety of our own planet, kskreelsh. And, boy are we having fun!
So, now that we know the truth – how about we try chickens next!