Just had a weekend that felt like it was the end of the world.
Here’s what I did:
- Spoke to no-one
- Drove no-one nowhere
- Ate from no-one
- Visited no-one
- Went to bed early.
Yeah, it was as bad as that!
And you know what it was?
You know what made me go to these wild extremes?
You know what pushed me into this heinous anti-socialness?
Yup – it was sugar.
Only remembered this morning that a week ago, when I was on holiday, I had sugar.
Love the tears you cry.
Your breaking heart.
Love fingers that claw.
Your aching throat.
Love the scowling can’t.
Your pending flight.
Love the loving love.
Your loving love.
How odd to be in an apparition (yeah, position) where the only way to succeed is to do something that I don’t want to do.
It’s that duty thing again isn’t it.
Who to make happy – me or others.
Such a life!
Pay your dues: “to do something that you do not enjoy in order to have something that you want, or because you feel it is your duty”.
I want to say that I have paid my dues, but I’m not quite sure.
The thing is – I enjoy pretty much everything. And I know that the things that I don’t enjoy are also things that I should enjoy.
This leaves me in a quandary because to have paid my dues, by definition I would have had to do things that I do not enjoy.
Maybe I am saved by the word ‘duty’.
There are things which are my duty to do that can be enjoyable as well as contributing to having paid dues. Things like earning a living; supporting those who are vulnerable or in my care; paying taxes; and being a nice person to those around me.
Okay, maybe paying taxes is not that enjoyable, but when you think about it – you have to have started with something in order to have pay the tax, so at the end of the day paying a tax is really saying that you have something in the first place. So that’s a positive, right?
There’s beauty to be found everywhere if only we know how to look for it.
Take this photograph for example – it’s actually the inside of a crisp packet, but just look at the shapes and shades of light and contrast. There’s so much beauty of complexity and variety there if only we care to see it.
People are like that too. So often we are quick to judge whether someone is ugly or beautiful compared to some set of criteria handed to us by bodies whose only concern is to make money from their ‘fashions’. Yet if we set ourselves back from those arbitrary standards then we are able to see the true beauty that everyone has, just as a consequence of being alive.
And yet, we still fall into the traps of judging others, which hurts not just them, but also ourselves. For, just as we judge other, so they seem to judge us too.
How often have you walked into a room in a new outfit and felt nervous. You feel that everyone is giving you marks out of ten, and that you are failing your exam.
It wouldn’t take much effort for us to stop paying negative attention to others, but the rewards would be enormous. Because when you keep your harsh criticisms to yourself, you automatically sense that others are doing the same. And even if they aren’t – you won’t notice anyway.
So, find goodness as you look around you today. See the beauty in your surroundings. Appreciate the people who share your world. Love life. Because when you do, it’s inevitable that you will experience being loved too.
I can have no truck with thee when thou pusheth
Thy teeth of dread into my lips.
Thy tongue of threat down my throat.
Thy split words of horror into my very being.
For that one cannot give me a heart.
Silugar lends nothing to save me
From thy claws
From my fate.
And without that love,
All that remains is thy spite.
And even that is better to bear
Than to have eyes sweep over me
As if I were dust in the breeze.
So take me now
Afore dawn mends the light
And sunbeams dagger the night
And fate steers my ship into gathering morn.
Be there, my scaly friend.
Be the dark in my sight.
Assemble thy fright.
Be my dragon.
There’s a place in Barbados called the Errol Barrow Centre for Creative Imagination (EBCCI).
I’d love to study for a degree in Creative Imagination. In fact, I’d love to teach a course in Creative Imagination.
Why don’t I do that! Or something like that? I’d love to teach creativity at some level. Although, when I think about it, it’d probably be a course called ‘How to be Odd’.
Ooo, ooo – I just noticed that there’s a vacancy for a new Director of the EBCCI! To apply or not to apply … such a difficult decision!