Think of a story. Don’t write about how you’re feeling right now. Think of an event in your life that made you ponder, fret or worry. No, not this event; sitting in front of a computer is not an event. Think of something unsettled and unsettling that you can bring to a resolution right now. It’s not like writing a to-do list, it’s gotta be more about ta-daa-done.
Hmm.
Got something?
Ah …
Good. Then write.
I was thinking about …
No, stop, not like that. Make it more like the start of a movie where you are the star. Think of the opening scene.
A library.
Good. Now let me just check: you don’t mean this library you’re sitting in right now, do you?
Another library.
Okay, off you go then.
I was sitting in the library …
No, no, no. Stop, already! You need to hook your reader. You must tie pretty thread, jewels and tiny, coloured feathers around a razor-sharp piece of barbed steel. Your bait must smell delicious and be attached to a claw that snatches and holds on against all force. You must tempt, tease, tantalise and then SNAP!
Go ahead. No time to dilly-dally.
The library was …
Yes …
The library had Jerimiah by his balls!
Oh, yes!
Think of the gin traps your great-great-gramps use to set on the spoor paths back in the day for thinning down the wolf pack that’d be taking down his sheep and leaving them, best parts taken and the rest strewn about the field, in clots and bloody strings that were only good for the birds that’d already taken their worm-worth long before dawn and way before the shepherd blinked and yawned having heard nothing but muffled rustlings in the night.
Nice image. I’m licking my lips; tell me more!
Well, imagine one of those razor-barbed traps set and sat, quiet as a coffin on a chair.
Which chair?
A library chair.
No, no, don’t make me read this! But tell me more!!
The chair that Jerimiah was about to slide out from under the desk, mind elsewhere, eyes on that pretty girl across the way, head in his daydreams. And then …
Yes?
Then …
YES?!
…
“The library is now closed. Please make your way to the nearest exit immediately!”
Robert C Day 
The intrusive thoughts are winning ?
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That’s a very interesting question, Cassa. To be able to answer it I need to know which of the thoughts you see as being intrusive. Which of the thoughts do you see as being intrusive?
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“the other library.”…”Well, imagine one of those razor-barbed traps set and sat, quiet as a coffin on a chair.”
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Could be just internal dialogue.
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Okay, I see what you mean now, Cassa.
All of the words in that piece are internal dialogue. There are two voices. One is trying to teach the other how to start a story so that it hooks the reader. The other is trying to learn that skill.
The ‘conversation” goes back and forth between the voices. The snippets you quoted are part of the learner’s attempts to write something that keeps the reader’s attention.
Sorry that the language is a little crude and inflammatory.
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Thanks Robert for explaining. My comments are often short had abrupt (in a way), I do apologise for that.
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You have nothing to apologise for, Cassa. Be yourself always.
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