Is It Over Now?

The day falls and the sun rises somewhere behind the clouds behind the curtains behind my eyelids which are yet to open to the sound of the alarm set the night before at seven hours and a few minutes after my eyes close to the curtains and behind them the sun set long before but just after the night fell.

In between were dreams that mocked the lack of ideas for stories by their rich veins of weird happenings. Like the creatures with elven bodies and orcish faces that were real then as they chased (but never caught) even as they dissolved into the fragments of memory that I see now in my waking time.

Under the colour lived and still lives a dark peace that’s filled with light. There’s too much of me to ask of any one part whether it is over because one thing becomes another in such rapid succession that I succeed in only saying that both nothing is over and everything is gone at the same time.

And I feel that you should be with me, despite the truth of the fact that this can never be
And you’re getting over me while I sit and stare at the place where you’re not even there
And never were
And I don’t even care ( not even in that cutesy-boy Liverpool way).

Shall I shout at the rain to tell it to stop falling on the ground up dirt left by the worms who stay out of sight like my visions of a future taken from the past and made into a well I can drink from without a letting down the pail on a rope I’d sooner swing from in a good way? Always a good way.

Should I keep to the streets that wind down to the sea between houses that stare blankly at the sound of my boots as I pass them by in spite of your cares calling to me from every pane? Forget that I never wanted to see you here. Forget that I ran. Forget me over and over and teach me, teach me the same.

Will you love me? Will you leave me to die? Will the earth spin on its axis one more time while I hope for forgiveness that could be yours or mine, dear? I don’t know the difference anymore. Whether your life turns on mine or my mind turns on you; well what does it care when you’re gone.

And I feel that you can’t be with me now in ordinary ways and ordinary truth
And you’ve gone and I can’t get over you like you’ve gotten over me. it’s true
And stare at the place where my mind sees you still
And I rush to forgive you forever until …
And until … (is it over now?)