Remote Presence

Thought I’d invented something new the other day. I was trying to imagine the next, great leap-forward for telecoms and the words remote presence popped into my head. I imagined this to be the next bandwidth-suck for telecom firms to pit their resources against: the ability to have the experience of being elsewhere whilst remaining in one’s own living-room.

Well, actually – that wasn’t first thing I thought of. My initial idea involved chickens and full body-suits. But let’s not go there.

So, excited by the possibility of being on the bleeding-edge of technology, I googled the phrase and found, to my surprise, that it had already been coined!

Disappointed and excited in equal measure (disappointed that I couldn’t patent the idea and excited that I live in these times), I read on.

I discovered out that we are already living extensions (suits, if you like) of life-form that decided to develop a bio-mechanical means of moving around on a planet (this one) denied to them by an extreme form of space-phobia. They (the life-form) live on a planet far, far away called kskreelsh (hope I got the spelling right – but I guess it doesn’t really matter because they don’t really have an alphabet).

Spores were sent, long, long ago, to Earth with an embedded programming designed to develop those basic unicellular forms (the spores), over time, using a process they call eproklushen. The result came to be called, after a few billion years, remote presence.

The kskreelshians are controlling us, by means of powerfully projecting their minds into our brains and thereby experiencing everything we do. Or, to be more exact, we kskreelshians are experiencing remote presence from the safety of our own planet, kskreelsh. And, boy are we having fun!

So, now that we know the truth – how about we try chickens next!


The Secret of Happiness

The trick to enjoying your life is (drumroll) accept your lot in life. That’s it. Just get on with enjoying what you have and don’t waste any headspace on whatever it is that you think that you want.

Oh, and be kind to small, furry animals (and we’re all small furry animals at the end of the day).

Anger or Love

Anger like a rock on a tin can
Sure, it might get to the guts
But so much gets bad and torn
Broken, mangled and useless.

Love, the sweetest languor
Finest way to open the heart
Quick, easy and so, so smooth
Darling let’s sweeten us up.

Knowledge vs. Experience

Which is more valuable – knowledge or experience? I stick my nose into books – one hundred and eight of them per year (and yeah, it’s hard to keep it down to so few, but I’m strict with myself). Books are how I learn about new things.

But there are times when I think that I should put down the books and experience more stuff instead. Imagine walking along a crowded street reading a book on how to connect with people (that’s usually me) or sitting in the park reading a book about how to get out of your shell and experience life (I actually saw that last summer – pretty girl in a park).

Have you ever watched this video?

If you have and you can identify with it, then you know what I’m talking about. I reckon that you and me need to put down our books, screens and phones and get out there and do something exciting. Something that makes an impact on the world.

But before you do that – leave me a quick comment and let me know what you’re going to do. And then, when you’re done – come back a tell me how it went. After all, we have to have a balance, right?

We can’t spend all our lives carrying shopping bags for little old gentlemen, or starting up an exciting new business, or rebuilding a classic car, or abseiling down into the Grand Canyon now can we! There’s got to be a little down-time too. A little bit of me-time can’t harm anyone. Who’s with me on that!

A New Beginning


I want to start blogging again. Any objections?

I have more to say. Showering is particularly problematic because I get ideas whilst the water pours over my skin. My mind has nothing to do but look at pure white tiles. It idles and then sparks into life. Flashes of genius penetrate and generate thoughts. Then they just … disappear. It’s sad when stuff disappears without trace so I want to share it with you instead. Would you allow this?

I’ll understand if you say that you will not have me (no I bloody well won’t!)

I’ll accept it if you reject me and send me away (like heck I will!)

I’ll go quietly into the dark if you don’t want me (not true – I’ll rage and rage!)

Anyhoo, here I am again – like it or lump it.

(and by the way – I missed you too)