Was just in the library looking for a book called “How to Want to Talk to People you Don’t Want to Talk To”. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been written yet.
There’s lots of advice on the internet on “How to Avoid People You Don’t Want To Talk To”. But articles, websites and erudite papers on the opposite of that just don’t seem to exist.
There are two ways to look at this:
- This is a gap in the market and so I should write this book (to critical acclaim and mass-market appeal), or
- No-one actually wants to learn the skill of how to talk to people they don’t want to talk to so I should give up.
I suppose that wanting to and not wanting to are viewed as being on different sides of the fence and, consequently, no-one would ever want to jump over that fence.
Is it that you either want to eat chocolate or you don’t? You want to date an attractive dwarf or you don’t? You want to be an exciting stage performer or you don’t?
But why? Can you not be persuaded otherwise? Can you not want to be persuaded otherwise?
They say that variety is the spice of life but they also say that people resist change. I think that change is good and that the best change is difficult change. What could be more difficult than changing my mind about what I desire (or not). But then again, what could be easier!
Changing the world is challenging. Changing other people is virtually impossible. Both of these things are outside our locus of control.
Changing my clothes is easy. Changing what I think about things is eminently possible. Changing what I desire / want is definitely something that is inside my locus of control.
So why do I still not want to talk to this person that I don’t want to talk to? Darned if I know! Probably it’s time to write that book.