Conversation with a Stone

Stone: Yo, Robert.

Robert: Huh!

Stone: Yo, Robert.

Robert: You talking to me?

Stone: Yup.

Robert:

Stone: What’s up?

Robert:

Stone: Okay, I get it. I’m a stone and you think that if you talk to me then that means you’ve gone crazy.

Robert: Erm …

Stone: Hey, that’s okay, I get it. I’ll just sit here and you can, y’know, think about it for a while.

Robert: Listen, if you … Oh, wait; I get it. There’s a hidden speaker inside you and it’s … Jake, come on out, I’ve rumbled you, man!

Stone: You can call me Jake if you like. I don’t mind. I’ve been called worse.

Robert: Okay, Jake, a joke’s a joke but I’ve got to get going now. Been nice chatting with you.

Stone: I can levitate if you like.

Robert: No shi … I mean … what? How?

Stone: Like this.

Robert: Holy cremola on a stick! How’d you do that?!

Stone: Ha; so now you’re talking to me!

Robert: Well, yeah; duh!

Stone: Why are you duhing me? Hey, put me down!

Robert: Ow, that hurt!

Stone: I hope so! Manhandle me again and you will feel my wrath!

Robert: Ow, you’ve burnt my hand. Look, it’s all charred!

Stone: Like I said: go easy on the manhandling and we’ll get on just fine. By the way; and you totally don’t deserve it by the way, but you’ve got a free wish.

Robert: What, you’re a genie now?

Stone: No, not really. Well, kinda. But no. I mean, I can grant wishes, but I don’t live in a lamp, you dig?

Robert: Okay, I’ll humour you. My wish is that I can have two wishes.

Stone: Granted.

Robert: Whee!

Stone: But you have to find yourself another stone to grant them for you.

Robert: Aw wait, that’s not fair.

Stone: True enough, but you got your wish and it came true and it’s not up to me to get you to make smarter wishes. Unless, of course, that’s what you’d have wished for. But you didn’t.

Robert: I’m not talking to you now.

Stone: Suits me.

Robert: Hmph.

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More about stones:

• Stones, or: Sticks
• I Will Not Carve You In Stone
• Stone Boats and Singular Saints
• Tread Stones – Haiku 2023 #ThursdayDoors
• Let the Stones Speak
• Rolling Stones – Happy
• of giants, glaciers, stone, and wolves.
• Written in Stone