A Nice Cup of Tea

If I should chance to drop by your house, you’d probably want to offer me something to drink. I’m writing this so that you will know how to make me a nice cup of tea:

• Find a nice cup that’s made from something delicate, like fine bone china or porcelain. Tea (and coffee, so I’m told) just doesn’t taste as nice from a clay mug.
• Pour the milk into the cup, and make sure there’s plenty. I’m not fussed as to what kind (so long as it’s not gone off), but cow and oat are my preferred options.
• Put the kettle on to boil. Do only put in as much water as is needed. It’s so wasteful to boil a full kettle when you’re only making one (or two) cup(s) of tea.
• Find a nice teabag. I prefer PG Tips decaffeinated, but anything like that’ll do. The ones you nicked from that hotel will be fine. The best tea is always free, right?
• Pour the water into the cup as soon as it has boiled. I simply can’t abide drinking tepid tea so do try your best to make it as hot as you possibly can.
• Pop the teabag into the water and then take it out pretty much straight away. Do not on any account stir the tea whilst the teabag is still in-situ. Oh, the horror!
• Give the tea a little stir as soon as the bag is out, but don’t take forever about it. Remember that I like my tea as hot as possible so don’t hang about.
• Serve the tea to me as soon as the stirring is done. Don’t bother putting the teabag in the recycling or washing the spoon. Bring me that cup of tea immediately!

There you go – wasn’t that educational? I’m available to visit Monday through to Sunday – but do please make sure that you give me a little notice, just so that I can get my shots up to date. Thank you, darlink.